In the wake of Laura Lee’s granted right to judicial review of the law that criminalises sex buyers, I thought that a blog about sex work and sex workers is needed. Whether a person would be a prostitute, a pornstar, an escort, a mistress, an erotic masseuse, a gigolo, a master, that person would be providing customer service to his or her client that involves coitus, hence the term ‘sex worker’.
Being a ‘sex worker’ doesn’t mean that you become a slave to the patriarchy, or that you will be branded as a victim of human trafficking, it just means that you do sex for a living. The same how waitresses serve food for a living, how supermarket employees stack products on shelves for a living, and how traffic wardens hand out parking tickets for a living.
And like waitresses, supermarket employees and traffic wardens, they get a lot of shit from some of the people they try to serve. As someone that writes a lot about the industry, I’ve read a large number of stories about sex workers complaining how bad some of their clients can be, some to the point where they get depressed because of them.
I remember my experiences with shitty customers when I was working in a patisserie a few years ago, and when I’ve some first-hand accounts on Tumblr, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities of that our dickhead customers had.
#1 The Cheap Client
These kinds of clients will always try to find a way to get a discount for your services, or use the service for free. You’d normally hear this from trolls that say,
‘Do you give discounts for clients with big dicks?’
Or,
‘If you enjoy it and you get to cum, does that mean that YOU pay ME?’
Or, if they’re really trying to get your services for free, they’d make you look like the bad guy and shout out mid-session,
‘Ow! Your teeth are scraping against my foreskin. If you make this appointment free of charge, I won’t write a bad review on your profile page.’
Some of the escorts on this directory get this kind of shit too, and it’s horrible to deal with when you need to put a roof over your head, when you need to feed your kids, or when you just want some extra cash to buy yourself some new Nike trainers.
#2 The Dirty Client
If I needed to put on deodorant and clean clothes when I’m at work, and if a sex worker needs to be STI-free when he or she is doing her thing, why can’t a client or customer wash his or her mouth with Listerine before going to a meeting? I’m not just talking about being free of diseases or HIV, I’m talking about making sure that your armpits, mouth and crotch don’t smell like garlic, and making sure that your ass doesn’t make you look like you’ve been sitting on milk chocolate buttons all day.
Looking and being dirty makes it hard for the sex workers to do their jobs properly, and it makes it hard for them to smile at you at the end of an encounter. Furthermore, it makes it very unlikely for them to accept a future meeting with you again, because you stink, and you have gonorrhea, and you chew tobacco.
#3 The Late or ‘No-Show’ Client
It really depends on how the Sex Worker is feeling on the day, but when the worker could only receive his or her payment on the day of the appointment, that can piss him or her off big time.
Think of a ‘No-Show’ as a person that has promised to go out on a date with you one night, but ends up getting stood up at a restaurant, where the waiter takes pity on you and gives you some crab cake on the house, just like Ross in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.; that is how sex workers feel when client arranged to have a date with them but don’t show up.
Late clients aren’t any better than ‘No-Shows’ because some of them would still be asking for a full session when they’ve already wasted half of the sex worker’s time with you. However, it’s not much of a money issue for them if you come up late or you become a No-Show; they would still charge you anyway. The main issue for them is an alternation in their schedules when you want to make up for your lateness or absence, which can give you a bad reputation as a punter.
#4 The Highly Ambitious Client
Guys, I’m sure that ladies know that you come in all shapes and sizes, and your cocks do too. But when you ask for anal sex when you know that your dick can look like a fat Cumberland sausage when hard, you might want to lower your expectations; this is why it’s important to tell your sex worker exactly what you want, so he or she won’t give the same expression Samantha gave to Mr. Cocky in ‘Sex & The City’.
You also have to realise that sex workers, even pornstars, can’t bend it like Beckham; they can’t make the aperture of their assholes stretchy, or give you a tit-wank when she only has 32-AA sized breasts. If you’re still glued to the illusion that porn shows you can achieve anything in the bedroom, well, I’m sorry to piss on your parade, because if you plan to have anal sex with a petite worker when you have an 8-inch cock, you’re going to hurt her more than her sphincter will hurt you.
#5 The Rude Client. A.K.A, the Asshole
If there is one thing that we all hate in the world, it is assholes, and good-hearted people don’t want asshole roaming around their neighbourhoods and cover everything in shit. Pun intended. The rude clients always think that when they pay for your services, they own you and they can treat you however way they want to; this is one of the big reasons why there are women, and some people in general, that oppose sex work.
I hated being told what was wrong with me by customers at my old work place, so I could only imagine what sex workers would have felt when they’ve been insulted by clients that don’t get their own way, or didn’t get what they were expecting from an encounter. If you insult a sex worker during an encounter, expect to leave their premises immediately without refunds.
Even though the way you behave with him or her is something that you should always be aware of, it’s also important to make sure you don’t ask questions that would piss a sex worker off; asking them ‘How much?’ would definitely make them believe that you are not worth their time and sex. However, if you make sure that you’re in their good books, you better not become one of these five clients. Trust me.
She is possibly most famous for her erotic stories, but is equally adept at giving top quality sex advice, all the time bringing in her 'personal experiences'.
When she isn't sharing her most intimate encounters, Zoe keeps herself active by watching videos on Youtube, and listening to music.
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