I guess the best analogy that I could use to describe anal sex is Marmite. You either love it or you hate it, and I gotta say, I love Marmite to bits.
But I’m not here to talk about what I like because most of you already know. You know that I like anal sex, but I know that not all of you like anal sex.
So, if you’re someone that likes to put it up the exit hole every now and again, this article is not for you. But for those that always been sceptical on sliding your dick through something that acts like a hard rubber band with the aperture of IV tube, you’ve come to the right page.
Right now, you’re probably thinking of a sex horror story your high school BBF told you in the middle of the playground. However, there are other things, or aspects, that can put you off anal sex forever and ever.
1. The preparation can be such a ball-ache to do
The first time I lost my anal virginity, I was told to make sure that ‘I was clean’. I was going to have it up that hole for the first time and I kept thinking:
‘How the hell am I suppose to make sure that I was clean up there? Do I have to use a douche or a toothbrush or something?’
I didn’t really think of that last sentence, but it does arouse suspicion on how pornstars prepare themselves for an anal scene. So, aside from the amount of cleaning your wife, girlfriend, or escort would have to do on her rear end, you would have to calculate how much lube you’d need for the night.
Do you need a 50ml bottle, a 100ml bottle, or one of those little sachets that bartenders hand out in gay bars for free? The amount of hardcore intercourse that you’d do would determine how much lube you’d need. But even if you do you use lube, some people still say that it feels awful inside them….
2. ‘It’ll only hurt for a minute’ they said. ‘It’ll start feeling good.’ they said
I’m not going to lie because I’m not the anomaly that sticks out of the crowd.
It did hurt when I felt a shaft sliding up there for the first time, but after a minute or two, it started to feel good. Like, really good.
I was in a comfortable position, as well. I remember being on top of him with my back on his chest while he was whispering in my ear:
‘Are you ready? You want me to take your anal virginity?’
It was slightly awkward, but the guy was a little awkward himself though. He was hot, though, and he did make some funny jokes which were great for our post-coital talks, so it was all good.
Unfortunately for others, it’s wouldn’t be all good. The initial pain could sometimes last longer and could become unbearable for both you and your lover. If this is the sole issue of you not wanting anal sex, Lara’s blog on how to stop the pain.
I’m sorry to be graphic, but anal sex could make you tear your foreskin. Your partner is not risk-free from anal sex either, as she could get anal fissures. And I’m sorry to say, but the taboo could cause some kind of mishap…
3. The possible mishaps that could happen, and all that shit…
You remember that horror story your high-school BBF told you in the middle of the playground? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that it was actually true. If you disagree, then typing in ‘anal sex fails’ on your favourite search browser site can confirm that for you.
The horror story that my high-school BBF told me in the middle of the playground involved a young couple wanting to try and have anal sex for the first time, but the guy ended up having a large piece of corn stuck on his tip…Yeah, I heard you wince underneath your breath.
Believe it or not, it’s normal for mishaps like that to happen, it is called the exit hole for a reason. But do you know why it happens?
Well, I don’t want to gross you guys out on here any more than I’ve already done; you can search for the answers yourself. But I’ll just let you that shit happens – pun wasn’t actually intended.
Of course, these are the 3 things that can put you off anal sex forever and ever. Or at least, some of the 3 things that can put you off anal sex forever and ever.
But I still going to keep mentioning the mantra of ‘don’t knock it if you tried it.’. Whether it is because they like committing a taboo, or they like how tight it feels around their shafts, people like doing anal sex for a reason.
Nevertheless, if you needed an article that clarifies why you should put your genitals anywhere near someone’s exit hole, this is it.
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