There is a lot of stigma that surrounds the sex industry, and believing the stigma can make it difficult to know about the kind of behaviour that is and isn’t acceptable. If you spend time online talking to sex workers, you’ll quickly learn what is and isn’t okay to say. However, there are still plenty of questions sex workers get asked that they are just fed up of hearing over and over again.
You will probably know some of the questions sex workers get asked off the top of your head, but there are a few others you might not have realised people ask. And these questions get asked a lot! Here on the Escort Ireland blog we take a look at five of the questions sex workers are tired of hearing, so that you can see which you are best avoiding and why your favourite escorts might roll their eyes when you ask them.
1. “How much?”
Escort directories are a great place for sex workers to advertise. They can put all of their information in one place so that it is ridiculously easy to find what you are looking for. It used to be that escort adverts were confined to the backpage of a magazine or newspaper, and because there was only a limited amount of space, you couldn’t put all of the information you wanted or needed on there.
Not any more! On your profile you can have everything listed, including how much your time and companionship is worth. Of course, this doesn’t stop people from simply looking at the pictures and then giving a call.
Escorts are constantly being asked how much it is going to cost their clients for their time and companionship. For the most part, clients just haven’t read the profiles. If you are one of those clients, you might notice that the escorts seem a little put off by this question. After all, if you haven’t read the profile and checked out the rates there, what else have you missed?
The information on the profile is there for a reason, so get a good look at it before you make any phone calls. It’ll save you asking the questions sex workers constantly hear.
2. “What’s your number of partners?”
This is the kind of question you’ll hear a lot among your friends. You’ll want to know if your number is higher or lower than your friends. This number apparently changes how people think about you. If your number is “too low”, then you are see as a prude when it comes to sex. “Too high” and you have way too much love to give.
So, for whatever reason, people think that this is an acceptable question to ask sex workers. We’re not entirely sure why, but if you are thinking of asking? Don’t.
Asking an escort about the number of clients they have had would be like asking a doctor how many patients they have seen throughout their careers, or how many people a checkout operator has served. You wouldn’t expect them to know the answers and it is the kind of thing you wouldn’t even ask them. Basically, if it is the kind of thing you wouldn’t ask anyone else, don’t ask a sex worker!
3. “What are the weirdest requests you’ve had?”
People have a lot of different interests in the bedroom, escorts included. Everyone is into different things, and what goes on behind closed doors between consenting adults is really nobody’s business unless you are one of the consenting adults involved.
That said, people love to ask escorts about the strangest client requests that they have had. This isn’t a great question to ask because discretion is an important part of the escort/client relationship. Bringing this question up is asking the escort to break that trust.
Plus, it is actually incredibly rude. It might be the kind of thing you can ask your friends down the pub, but usually that information is volunteered willingly. Will it even make a different to you if you know what others are in to? Probably not, so don’t ask.
4. “What’s wrong with the people who pay for it?”
There seems to be a belief that there is something wrong with those who pay for sex. There have been numerous newspaper articles throughout the years with celebrities hitting out at those who buy sex. They tell them that it is easy to get a relationship if they just shower, shave, and are polite when they go out.
But they forget that not everyone wants a relationship… plus, one-night stands and dating is hard. If you are looking for something in particular, it is easy to find a paid companion without any of the strings or complications that dating can bring.
Safety is a priority for sex workers. Instead of taking the chance on a one night stand, where you might walk away with memories and an STI, you know that you are in safe hands with an escort. Their sexual health is important, and they are willing to explore different things with you. There isn’t anything wrong with those who pay for sex. These are just more questions sex workers are tired of hearing.
5. “What must your family think?”
This is something that comes up a lot, and has to be one of the most ridiculous questions sex workers are asked. This question usually comes up when people want to shame a sex worker for what they do. After all, nobody can really be okay with those selling sex, can they?
Well, some people are decent human beings. Surprise! This is such a shock to so many that sex workers can be supported by their families in their work decisions.
You could ask the same job to absolutely anyone with a job. Their confusion at the question will point out to you just how ridiculous a question it is to ask. If the sex worker is happy with their job, don’t start trying to shame them out of it with questions like this.
Other questions sex workers hate
There are so many different things that those who sell sex are asked. Sex workers get plenty of unusual questions thrown their way, as well as some that they are just totally fed up of hearing. There’s only so many times you can say “none of your business” before you just start to lose patience.
Those questions we’ve looked at above are just five of the questions sex workers are tired of hearing… and we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface! There are so many more things that they are asked on a regularly basis, and they are the kind of questions that you wouldn’t ask anyone else.
So what is it that makes it “acceptable” to ask these questions to sex workers? Is it the stigma surrounding the industry, or is it something else? What kind of questions have you been asked in the past? We want to hear from you, so share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment in the box below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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it’s an interesting and informative post but … who else would people ask? it is an industry that has been shrouded in mystery, misconceptions, blatant BS, and outright lies; totally discounting the misinformation from generations of the prudishly uninformed. Most if not all businesses can create such a list. For example I owned a chain of shops most of my life … even when up on a ladder, in uniform with a name tag, working on a new wall display or putting out inventory … most people ask “do you work here?” Often people ask stupid questions to just “break the ice” not realizing how foolish they seem. I do disagree with your #1; many of the ads do not list a value and simply say “ask”. Which makes sense to me as the ladies may wish to modify their gratuity in accord with the requests and situation. We have no qualms asking the same question to the butcher or the taxi driver before making the commitment. I do agree that the profiles should be thoroughly read to avoid any embarrassment or awkward moment for either person.