The Beginner’s Guide To Domination

The ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ books might be some of the best-selling of all time, and the movie may have been watched by millions, but if you are at all interested in the world of domination then the last thing you’ll want to do is use Fifty Shades as a guide to what it is actually like.
High heel boots with whip, rose and handcuffs

The series has brought the eyes of the world onto domination, but many who enjoy this fun activity on a regular basis have spoken out about it. What you see in the books and in the movie is not true domination. Here on the Escort Ireland blog we have put together this beginner’s guide to domination.

What do you want?

Domination is a huge category to talk about, and there are so many different parts to it that you can’t simply say to your partner “I want you to dominate me” and them instantly read your mind as to what type of domination you want.

It comes in so many different forms and so trying to find what you want by simply asking for “domination” isn’t going to work. You will need to think carefully about it and then talk to them about what exactly that it is you want.

The advanced escort search here on Escort Ireland is an extremely useful way of finding the right kind of dominatrix for you. In the favourites section you will see many different forms of domination, from general domination to financial domination, dog training, and even slaves accepted.

Once you have figured out the type of domination you want to try and explore, you can then move on to enjoying it. You can read below about the different types of domination and just what you might find yourself doing.

Light domination

Domination, believe it or not, does have a lighter side. If you don’t think you are quite ready to go through dog training or public humiliation, you might want to start off with some bondage or body worship.

Body worship is extremely popular. It introduces you to the idea of submitting to someone else while still giving you the chance to give a little bit of pleasure along the way. You might be asked by your dominatrix to get on your knees and kiss their feet, which is great for those with a foot fetish.

Facesitting and smothering also come under body worship, as it gives you the chance to lick at your dominatrix’s sweet wet pussy. If you are feeling a little brave you might instead want to be smothered by your partner’s pussy. This would mean the dominatrix restricting your air, which can be a huge turn on for many. However, this is taking domination a little further, and you might want to stick with facesitting for the time being if you are interested in body worship.

One of the most common things that people will do when trying domination for the first time is bondage. Bondage can involve ropes, tape, handcuffs, or ties to restrict your movement. It can be used to tie you to a bed where you get to enjoy some tie and tease, or it could be so your dominatrix can control you and lead you around their place, telling you what you will do for them.

Pain

Of course, a large part of domination to many is pain, whether it is inflicting it or simply the threat of it. The pain you receive is consensual, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stop it at any point. With domination a large part of it is the consent, and before you start to enjoy having pain inflicted on you, you should set a safe word. This is a word that you can say at any point during your time with your dominatrix and the action will stop, either to give you a break or give you the chance to explain to your partner what isn’t working for you.

Spanking and caning are two very popular domination things to try. Spanking doesn’t necessarily use any objects, although you might enjoy being hit with a leather paddle. Instead, your dominatrix can just use their hand to spank your ass as punishment for not obeying their every command. Caning, of course, requires you to be spanked with a cane. This usually ties in to a mistress fantasy, where you get six of the best from them as punishment.

Another domination thing to enjoy is burning. Your dominatrix will burn you using any number of tools they choose. It could simply be using a match on your skin or it could be a lighter. The most popular method, however, is using a cigarette. If you have a smoking fetish, this might be a fun way to explore it.

Another domination that people like is cock and ball torture, otherwise known as CBT. This can be done in any number of ways, from tickle torture and squeezing to ball busting (kicking) and erotic electrostimulation. Ball busting is one of the most popular, and is considered one of the ultimate forms of pain domination.

Bodily fluids

Domination involving bodily fluids is on the rise at the moment, with many intrigued by the taboo surrounding it. They want to try something naughty and forbidden to see what it is really like. Spitting is a popular one, as being spat on is very degrading. It shows you aren’t worthy of them and can be very humiliating. Sometimes they will spit into your mouth and order you to swallow it.

Period play is fascinating for many. When it comes to periods, it is the time of the month when women find themselves the most turned on. As a result, period play is great fun. You can give your dominatrix pleasure while she is on her period. One of the more common ways of doing it is with oral sex. Sometimes referred to as a rainbow kiss, you would perform oral on them as you would normally, only this time their period would be on your face.

Watersports is a turn on for many, and we aren’t talking about the sports you enjoy on the beach while on holiday. Instead, we are talking about when someone urinates on you. While it can be done in the bedroom, watersports tends to occur in the bathroom, where clean-up is a lot easier. They will stand over your and piss on you, and you might choose to rub it in to your skin. Some enjoy taking the piss in their mouths and tasting it. It is, like spitting, very degrading.

The ultimate degrading act involving bodily fluids is hardsports. Hardsports, like watersports, tends to take place in the bathroom, where cleaning the shit from your body is a lot easier. Finding yourself smothered in shit is a turn on for many, and this makes it all worthwhile.
Hands in Chains

Giving up control

Domination is all about control. The dominatrix will take control of you, telling you how to act and what to do, which can take a huge weight from your shoulders. You don’t have to think about each action before you do it, as you are receiving orders from someone else. That is why being submissive is so freeing for others.

Sissyfication, which can be spelled as sissification or called feminization, is when the gender role of the submissive slave is switched. Traditionally, this means changing you from a submissive man to a submissive female. Of course, this will all be in the mind. Crossdressing is a popular part of this, as you will wear feminine clothes, and makeup will be applied. You might even be taught the correct way to walk and talk like a lady, and the freedom of taking on another personality is a huge turn on for many.

You might instead simply want to be a slave, and many dominatrixes are willing to accept slaves into the group. You will serve one mistress or master, obeying their every command and doing what they wish you to.

Some take it a step further and go through dog training, where you are treated like a dog. You will be given a collar and walked like an animal, even being put in a cage to be fed in a water bowl. It shows that you are not worthy of being treated like a human.

Further control

Dog training can go a step further, and can tie into public humiliation. Humiliation is a huge part of domination, as the dominatrix will show to others how unworthy you are in public. By being taken for a walk in public all eyes will be on you. You might even get the chance to play with other slaves and dogs if your dominatrix gives you permission.

However, public humiliation can go further than that. It can involve you going to a nice restaurant or café for a meal, only for your dominatrix to start a fight with you in public. It could also simply be making your grovel at their feet in a shopping centre, and having the eyes of others on you is a turn on.

Financial domination is becoming increasingly popular. You would give control of some, or all, of your finances over to your dominatrix. They will tell you what you are allowed to spend and when, and for many it takes a huge weight off their minds about money troubles.

Safety first

Of course, before you begin to enjoy domination you should be thinking about your own safety. Some of these activities can cause you harm, and so if you feel it is going too far you should use your safe word.

When you first meet your chosen dominatrix, talk to them about safe words. You should choose a word that you aren’t likely to say in the moment, such as no. For some, the word “no” ties into the fantasy, and so saying it doesn’t let your partner know that you aren’t enjoying it.

You aren’t at all weak for using the word. All it means is that you need to take a break for a moment, whether to recover from a particularly enthusiastic caning or to talk to your partner about what you want to try next. Don’t be scared of using it. Your dominatrix will be far happier hearing you use the word instead of seeing you suffer.

What is your favourite part of domination? Have you a fantasy you want to fulfil with a dominatrix, or do you like keeping control in the bedroom? You can let us know or simply share your sexy fantasies by visiting the Escort Ireland forum or by leaving a comment in the box below.

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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