Are you tired of only hearing all the amazing, and even surrealistic aspects of sex? How can you expect a normal, human experience when movies, commercials and even society tell you so much crap about having graceful, rhythmic and artistic sex? And if you love each other it will definitely make you orgasm at the same time. Really? Is that what you should all expect from every sexual intercourse? Should you be disappointed if the fireworks don’t happen?
According to most movies (by the way, thank you so much Hollywood for making me break up with so many people for not giving me the…butterflies) sex is the most surreal experience that can happen between two people. Again, according to movies, people who love each other have it all the time, sex is hot and slow, it can last forever (that’s a good thing, they say) and, of course, everybody looks amazing naked and full of sweat.
Oh well, in real life things are a bit different. So, here are a some of the aspects related to sex that people don’t actually talk about when discussing their sex life. Why? Well, because it has to be perfect. And if it’s not as good as advertised, it is probably because the partner is not the right one. Now it’s time to be honest and admit that it’s not the partner. It’s just reality.
There’s No Photoshop in Real Life
With all the magazines, TV Shows and movies, many people feel less attracted to real human beings, finding themselves continuously searching for those who look similar to what Photoshop delivers them. That’s a huge issue for our society.
Not all people dedicate their lives to the gym because they have to work instead of just look perfect. And even models and actors look completely different in real life than they look on a Forbes’ cover. Even so, normal people have huge expectations from their partners. And the worst part is that this is really bad for their sex life.
Your partners won’t look like Brad and Angelina when they are naked. And you know what? Not even Brad and Angelina look “like them” well when they are not edited. So, get over it!
Sometimes Sex Is…Not Hot
Aren’t you sick of all the hot sex movie scenes, when her makeup is not ruined by the amazing wild intercourse, his hair looks incredible and even their sweat is perfect? We’ve all had amazing sex and though everything was fabulous, the hair was not in the right place after orgasming.
So yes, sex is also messy, crazy and unexpected. And if you ask me, messy sex is way better than the promoted perfect intercourse when his hand is always in the perfect place. My partner stayed on my hair by mistake once, I screamed, he laughed and then made me have an orgasm.
Sex Is Also…Not That Slow
How do you feel about all the romantic sex scenes where every touch lasts forever and they kiss slowly while staring at each other? Personally, I love romanticism but slow sex is so overrated. Yes, it can start pretty slow but you can’t do that for an hour. Normal sex sessions last around 10 minutes and without noticing you start moving faster and faster. It just happens!
And Yes Sex Can Last Way Too Long
Since we are talking about romantic, never-ending sex, let me ask you one think: have you ever heard people saying that there’s no such thing as too long sex sessions? Have you ever had sex for an hour without stopping? I had and, let me tell you that it’s far from what you think it is. Maybe you like the idea (and you probably do that because you watched too many movies) but her vagina and your penis certainly don’t. So, unless you have an issue with climaxing please don’t try to last longer than you do. Instead of concentrating on quantity, how about focusing on quality?
Men Aren’t Continuously Horny
Being part of generation Y made me grow up with Hollywood, of course. And what did it teach me? That men are always horny! Guess what happen when I experienced exactly the opposite? Yes, of course, I thought it is something wrong with me because they ARE ALWAYS ready to have it. It took me a while to understand that movies messed up with my teenage mind.
So, no, men are not walking libidos. They are human, just like women. That means that they are not always ready to satisfy our needs, just like sometimes we are not in the mood to make them sexually happy. That’s just life! It’s not always about sex!
Sober Sex Is Always Better
You all know that alcohol makes you want to have more sex, but is it better?I am not saying that there aren’t people who find drunk sex amazing. I just haven’t met them. Instead of turning alcohol into regret and engaging in an endless sex session, how about having sober sex? Personally, I’ve never “found” my orgasm when high on alcohol. I think that is just the booze making fun of us!
Switching Positions Isn’t Like in Hollywood Scenes
Are you as amazed as I am when I see the switching positions in movies? It seems like everybody is a character from Dirty Dancing since the whole thing is so full of grace. Oh well, that never happens in my bed. My partner is no Patrick Swayze and I am extremely far from being balletic.
So yes, changing position is messy but funny. And laughing always makes things better. Even in bed!
Another Hollywood Bullshit…Orgasms in Unison
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying you can’t have simultaneous orgasms. You can and I did a couple of times. It felt fine but it’s not such a big deal. Anyway, it doesn’t just happen because you love each other.
It does when one of you holds it until the other arrives there. Is it worth? You can try it but I see no reason why doing it all the time.
Sometimes Sex is Overrated
While sex can be an amazing experience and yes, most of the time it is incredible, it can also be dull and monotonous.
Every now and then, you just want to sleep or watch a good movie and eat popcorn with your partner. And if you are not in the mood for it, don’t jump into the bed because you “should” do it. Sometimes you just want a hot massage or a warm cuddle. It’s absolutely normal!
Just remember that, even though far from being what you see on screen, it is something amazing that happen between two people. But there are also other amazing things! Enjoy them all!
She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.
When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.
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