If your sex life has gotten a little boring, you might need to take steps to spice things up again. Some people will opt for things like using sex toys or trying new positions to achieve this. However, sometimes it can be a lot more exciting to take things back to basics with mutual masturbation.
Mutual masturbation might seem boring to some of you, but it is the perfect way to mix things up and inject something new into your routine. It will be fun for you both and add a bit of a challenge to sex, as you’ll have to rely on just your hands to get them off. So what will you do?
Back to basics
The reason that mutual masturbation is such a good idea is because we tend to rush sex. We’ll skip through foreplay as quickly as possible in order to get to the main event. We never mean to, but often we are so fixated on fucking that we don’t spend enough time teasing our partner and turning them on. This can mean that we aren’t as turned on as we could be before sex starts.
Even if we do spend longer on foreplay, it might not be enough. We might find that we start kissing our partner and then get straight into oral sex. From oral, we’ll move on to penetrative sex. If we do use our hands, it tends to be for a minimal amount of time.
We might just skim our hands slowly over their body and touch them before moving on. The hands are a slight warm up to the other things that we have planned, and this can leave you wanting more. So instead of focusing on the things to come, maybe it is time that we get back to the basics?
Be honest
When you start, you should take the time to sit down and talk to your partner. You should be honest with each other about what it is you like. For example, you might find that they get a little rough with their hand on you, and so saying what it is that feels good can make all of the difference.
Some people find that they want to hear their partner saying dirty things to them while they do this. Others would rather have no distractions at all. Since this chances from person to person, it is important for you to talk to your partner and set your expectations before you do anything. That way, you are both on the same page.
Finding it difficult to stick with it? Tell your partner. They might have an idea for something to try to make it exciting and keep you both on track. You might even find it useful to set a timer on your phone. Even a timer for ten minutes can help, as you can both decide that you will enjoy mutual masturbation until the timer runs out. It will make you stick with it for longer and you’ll find it is a huge turn on when the timer goes off!
Watch each other
Should you find that it is difficult to know exactly how your partner wants to be touched, you could simply watch them instead. Tell them that you’d like to see how they masturbate. It will turn into one hell of a kinky show for you and give you the chance to see how they touch themselves.
It can also tell you a lot about their porn preferences, if they opt to put something on. Even what they watch can give you more information, especially if they follow jerking off instructions. You might want to add this to your own routine, and perhaps adapt it. You could try giving them detailed instructions on how to make you come, for example.
Watch their movements when they masturbate. You might have been apply pressure directly to her clit, but while watching you notice that she teases around. It can make a huge difference to how she feels during mutual masturbation, so take note and enjoy the show!
Have you tried mutual masturbation?
Mutual masturbation is great because it really amps up the sexual tension in the bedroom. You’ll find that you can’t wait to get to the main event, but you want to stick with it just a little longer to discover more. It is a brilliant way to learn more about your partner and try new things, without thinking too far outside of the box.
Got some suggestions of your own on this topic? Tell us about them. You can comment in the box below with your favourite tips. You can even tell us which positions you think work best for using just your hands on your partner.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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