This week, the Kinky Guru talks about fulfilling your fantasy and talking to your partner about your deepest, darkest desires.
Dear Kinky Guru,
Thanks to porn and my imagination, I have wild fantasies but when I get into the bedroom, I don’t ever act out my inner most desires. How do I let what’s inside come out in the bedroom?
Signed, Shagging-conservatively-but-more-of-a-liberal-fucker
Dear Shagging-conservatively-but-more-of-a-liberal-fucker,
Thank you for sharing this duality and how it feels like it’s temporarily blocking you. I say temporary because it too shall pass as you’re already addressing it and its call to evolve. You’re sensing the divide between your sexual spirit and the dimension of your body.
Let’s explore how to: sexually connect the mind and body
Focus on your web browser’s history for a moment. What’s this porn that you’re thinking of? Let’s share it with your lover. With both of you watching it together, technology can literally help you both get on the same web page. After the viewing party, discuss what turns you on in the fantasy so that your partner understands what’s turning the key in your kinky inner sanctum.
Watching and sharing porn is not for everybody. Sometimes it’s more of a private activity. Still there are some who just DON’T watch porn, it’s a choice. In that case, there are plenty of movies and series out there that have steamy, sexy scenes that have unknowingly woven themselves into our fantasies.
With the aid of technology, we can approach sensitive topics from a distance via sms messages. In the 21st century, it’s typical for lovers to flirt and get to know each other bit by bit in this way. Although this Kinky Guru recommends communicating in person with your lover so as to truly exchange and transmit soul energy. There are times when sending SMS messages to your lover feels like giving and receiving sexy Valentines.
Hey sexy! Have you seen the series Vikings yet?
No. Have you? Let me guess…raping…pillaging?
Last night, I liked it. You know, you look like a Viking:)
Really? LoL.
Whatcha doing tonight?
Raping and pillaging if you’re consensual 😉
You could have the series cued up for when your lover comes over. Show a snippet of what turned you on before you live your fantasy. But if you don’t have the Internet then by all means, sexy storytelling is the best means of delivering your fantasy.
When sexy storytelling, simply retell a kinky story that you’ve seen or heard before.
“I remember watching this series on Starz called Spartacus: Blood and Sand and there was this Queen who wanted to make an heir. But she was mad at the King so she was secretly shagging the best gladiators from the arena in Rome. She’d ride the gladiator, dominating him on the floor of this prison with guards protecting the door while holding a knife to his neck and telling him, ‘Cum for me, cum for Rome.’ He would shag with the adrenaline of fighting in the arena while replying, ‘Yes, my queen, yes.’ – something I said to my lover before asking if he’d like to be the gladiator to which he replied, ‘Yes, my queen, yes.’
After your go of kinky storytelling, ask if your partner has watched something that may have perked their sexual interest. Film and TV today have strong sexual story lines. If porn isn’t a topic that you and your lover feel open to exploring then inquire if a series or movie has ever turned them on.
Asking, “Have you ever watched a kinky moment in a movie that’s turned you on?” could trigger them into sharing their sexy stream of consciousness. If and when they reply, “Well there was that sex scene from Top Gun when Tom Cruise was a fighter pilot and he shagged his flight instructor.’ Mission control: Charlie is an affirmative!
Begin your next sexual experience under the pretense that now; you two are going to explore this fantasy physically as one. By preemptively knocking on the door of your inner most fantasy and bringing company that knows beforehand of the celebration, your sexual chakra is primed for booming you onto the next level. After all, shedding light on the dark recesses of your perversions is exciting.
Now your mind and body can get off at the same time
By sharing your fantasy with your partner whether by means of a visual aid or sexy storytelling, your partner is beginning to understand what’s going on behind the curtain of your exterior. By sharing your sexy fantasy and asking what theirs might be, you’re opening a line of dialogue that permits a playground of perversion. After doing so, you’ve set the next sexual encounter to be an arena for the experience; congratulations, you’ve laid the foundation for an: Interdimensional Shag (Noun) A shag that connects the inner recesses of the mind to the realm of sexual physicality!
Yours truly, The Kinky Guru
She is certainly most famous for her informative, yet hilarious looks at sex from around the world. However, she is also well known for her erotic stories, as well as her blogs on sexual health, which she sees as vital in helping out men and women everywhere.
When she is not knocking other trending articles out of the park, Gabriella likes walking her pet dog, and eating at nice restaurants.
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