Are you looking for a present even though you are one of those people who think Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday specially created to make you spend money on gifts for your partner? Well, actually all holidays are invented and we still celebrate them because it’s nice to unwind and just spread love and joy.
And, with all the negativity I have towards the kitschy stuff sold at the beginning of February, I have to admit that celebrating love is quite exciting, isn’t it?
When it comes to gifts, I wouldn’t stress too much on buying something for a guy I’ve been seeing for two weeks unless we celebrate Hormone’s Day. However, offering something to your partner, even if we are talking about a fuck-buddy or an escort is a nice gesture. But for people who actually love each other, Valentine’s Day is a great reason to bring something special to the table.
Of course, I strongly believe and agree with the fact that we should love and cherish each other every day, but all the work we do and our daily worries, most of the time we forget or don’t have time for honoring each other. That is sad but it is the human beings’ way of living. If they don’t make up a celebration to remind them that they have to enjoy life, and each other, they completely forget.
So, what are you planning to offer your companion for Valentine’s Day? You can get inspiration from the impressive number of articles available online, but without paying attention to your partner’s character you will probably fail. The ideas the Internet offers you are great, but in order to be amazing, the present has to be personal.
If you already have a gift for your sweetheart, relax and check out the Worst Valentine’s Day gifts of all times!
Chocolate Cake and…Spanx as Gifts
All women’s dream is to eat as much chocolate and ice cream as they can and never get fat. So, if you buy a chocolate cake or anything that looks nice and tastes incredible you will never fail. However I’ve heard there are men out there who think it’s appropriate to buy their ladies…spanx.
I know that saying “Spanx” sounds funny and only a woman who wears them knows how uncomfortable they really are, but how in the world can you buy such a present? To be honest, I’d go with something else even if she asks for this gift. Believe me, “Spanx are so great and comfortable,” said no woman….ever.
Sex is Better than Porn
We all watch porn and that’s a fact. However, now we are talking about celebrating love, aren’t we? So, why would you offer your partner…porn? Don’t worry, they watch it anyway, but they shouldn’t do it on V-day.
Sex is strongly related to love, unless we are talking about family and friends of course. But porn is not. So, I can understand if you want to give your lover a porn star experience, but getting them gifts like a DVD is just distasteful. Please, don’t!
What’s the Connection between Love and Stuffed Animals?
Maybe you haven’t heard of too many people who go to their companions with porn and Spanx on Valentine’s Day. But you definitely know people who buy stuffed animals even if they are grown-up people who have jobs and pay taxes.
When I see a woman buying a teddy bear for her lover, I just want to grab that huge stuffed animal, slap her with it and tell her that he wants to cuddle with her, not with a creepy teddy bear…unless he talks, of course.
A man offering a toy makes the teacher-schoolgirl fantasy pop into my mind. If this is not the reason why a mature man goes home to his partner with a stuffed animal, I can’t think of anything else. And if I am right, what the hell man? Ask her to wear pigtails!
V-Day Doesn’t Stand for Viagra
There are women, and hopefully not too many, who believe that Viagra makes a cool Valentine’s Day gift. Well, miladies, it is not cool, not loving and not funny. If you believe your man doesn’t last long enough, this romantic day is not the time to talk about that and offering him a Viagra pill is not a proper manner to tell him.
Of course, if his age gave him a bit of a hard time down there, he knows what he has to do. You don’t have to come with a Viagra pill in a red box in order to remind him he has issues. Unless you want him to bring you a push-up bra next time. And Valentine’s Day would then have a whole new meaning.
Love, Weights and Protein Shakes?
A friend of mine received a gym membership from his boyfriend. The first thought she had, was “You jerk, are you calling me fat?” But who wouldn’t think this way? A gym membership is normally an awful gift idea, no matter if we are talking about men or women.
However, in this case, my friend remembered she mentioned how much she wanted to go to a certain gym but she was not sure because of the prices. So in this case, it wasn’t an inappropriate way to tell your partner they need to lose some weight!
But if they didn’t specify how much they want a gym membership, a box of Viagra or a couple of very uncomfortable pairs of Spanx, don’t get these things. And if you have no original gift ideas, you better stick to chocolate.
Yes, giving an unconventional present is fantastic, but do you know your partner well enough? Are you ready to spend some time in order to find the perfect gift? Are you willing to be creative instead of buying what everybody else does? If you can’t do these, as I said, go back to the box of chocolate gifts. I know it’s not surprising but it is safe.
She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.
When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.