Hulk Hogan in Court Over Sex Tape!

In the case of Hulk Hogan vs. Gawker, his leaked sex tape with his then best friend’s wife is the focus of a $100 million dollar lawsuit claiming invasion of privacy. It’s speculated that his ex best friend, Bubba the Love Sponge Clem likely leaked the tape to Gawker. Although Bubba the Love Sponge Clem gave his blessing for Hogan to have sex with his wife, Hogan claims he never knew he was being videotaped.

Closeup of gavel in court room

Hulk Hogan’s legal team cites a violation of Bollea’s privacy. That’s right, legally in court Hulk Hogan has to go to trial with his real name. Welcome to the ring: the tag team of Hulk Hogan and Terry Bollea! Although the Pinellas County judge allowed the mustached 61-year-old wrestling legend to wear his trademark bandana to court, the judge did say that he’ll have to be addressed in court using his real name, Terry Bollea. The judge was serious when he slammed down his gavel and declared, “My courtroom will not become a circus!”

So Hulk Hogan put down the chair that he was going to throw at Gawker magazine’s defense team and Terry Bollea sat down on it instead. Hulk Hogan accepted that he’s actually Terry Bollea and that Terry Bollea is in court defending Terry’s privacy. In doing so, he’s trying to separate his wrestling persona from his real life one. He even talks about himself in third person.

“Terry Bollea is a normal person. Wrestling is his job. The character of Hulk Hogan is completely opposite of Terry Bollea. The only similarity to me is the look.”

The Hogan Sex tape scandal so far is a ‘dusty finish.’ A ‘dusty finish,’ in wrestling terminology is when a ‘face,’ appears to win a ‘big match’ but then the decision is later reversed due to some sort of ‘technicality’ and it becomes an ‘ambiguous finish.’ He came, she came and Gawker conquered the sex tape and uploaded it onto the internet. For the record, Hogan says that he wasn’t Hogan in the tape, he was Bollea and Bollea didn’t know that he was being videotaped.

Bollea insists that the posting of the sex video has caused him emotional distress and loss of privacy and that $100 million dollars would make him feel better. Hogan likes when people watch his reality show ‘Hogan Knows Best’ where he’s been seen naked on a toilet and Hogan likes it when you listen to him talk about his sex life on Howard Stern’s radio program but Bollea doesn’t like his invasion of privacy, okay? Breaking News: Hogan knows best but Bollea didn’t know he was being videotaped during sex with his best friend’s wife.

So what if Hulk Hogan and Terry Bollea hang out with people called Bubba the Love Sponge Clem? He likes hanging out with people with fake names. That’s not a crime. The crime is that Bubba the Love Sponge Clem crossed the line and filmed Hulk Hogan when he just wanted to be Terry Bollea and then Bubba sold it to Gawker. The 30 minute video was edited into a 1 minute and half clip that went viral and got millions of clicks. This kept the tag team Hulk Hogan and Terry Bollea up at night and gave them a great deal of anxiety. His defense team has insisted that, ‘They have essentially replaced sticks and stone with clicks and phones.’

Is it sad to hear that Hulk Hogan’s wife wanted a divorce and that he called Bubba the Love Sponge Clem crying to tell him the news? Kind of, maybe, sort of. Understand that Hulk Hogan’s character is big and strong inside the wrestling ring but inside the courtroom, Terry Bollea is admitting to being sensitive, vulnerable and taken advantage of. Is it terrible that Bubba handed Hogan his wife and a condom and then told him that he was going to go to his office? Swinging is a consensual taboo practiced by lots of couples so no, it’s not terrible it’s just kinky. Is it slimy to tape the act without everyone’s consent and sell it to Gawker? Hell yeah it is but hey, at least Bubba gave Terry a condom for that slime.

Bubba the Love Sponge Clem rhymes with ‘Have-sex-with-my-wife-so-I-can-videotape-you,’ in every language!

It’s actually when Terry asked if he was going to be filmed that Bubba lied and said, ‘I would never do that to you.’ Sure, Bubba sounds like a real perverted jerk but are we supposed to feel like so is Hulk Hogan? No, Hulk Hogan wants to assure the court that although it’s Hulk Hogan’s burly stature in the sex tape it’s actually Terry Bollea in that moment and Terry was victimized. The ring psychology that Terry is using in the courtroom proves his experience as a ring general.

“I was embarrassed about what it did to me as a person and it was even embarrassing as a character,” Hulk Hogan admitted, ‘To Hulk Hogan, it was embarrassing.’ Just so that we’re all clear, the tag team of Hulk Hogan and Terry Bollea both feel embarrassed. As the jury selection in this $100 million lawsuit is finalized, the match at this point is a no contest. Hulk Hogan’s signature finishing move in the wrestling ring is The Leg Drop. Now it’s up to the jury to decide what Terry Bollea’s signature move will be but until their verdict, it’ll have to be the sitting duck by default.

Gabriella Zene
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