Crazy Facts About the Penis!

At some point in your life, you’ve learned about the inner workings of the penis, yet chances are you weren’t given all the exciting details of the joystick. Most likely, you were given the basic information that you needed at that particular time in your life. That elementary knowledge helped you understand that the boom slang is fascinating and what’s happening behind the scenes is rather complicated. Yet behold, there are far more hard facts and sticky details about the love muscle that you deserve to know!

Man looking surprised at his penis

Years passed and your knowledge of the noodle grew. Through sexy experimentation, one discovers that the kinky egg roll has a lot of curious habits, some sweet and some sour. Your investigation uncovered things about that private eye that they just didn’t tell you in sex ed class. Good job investigating that one-eye yogurt slinger! But why stop there? Keep calm, stay kinky and learn more about the sexy ying yang as new medical research is always banging out new findings.

The interest in a man’s twig and berries has the medical community as well as individuals updating the rest of the world with gripping and enthralling facts about the third leg. Ladies and gentlemen, revel and marvel in these herein riveting facts surrounding the tasty frank and beans.

1. Ding-a-ling dead-lift

The sport of “iron crotch” is real, it’s happening and it’s a form of kinky Kung Fu. Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng teaches his students in Los Angeles how to: lift more weight with straps wrapped around a flaccid penis than you can bench press! Grandmaster Iron Crotch gained media attention for towing a tractor trailer with his junk as well as pulling an 8,000 pound World War II era fighter plane down a runway for National Geographic.

2. Semen is speedy

A cock is essentially a cannon and the sperminator can shoot spunk junk that can fly at roughly the same rate of travel on a city bus! Spaff, jerk sauce, splooge what ever you want to call it, it can clock up to 43 miles per hour depending on how long it’s been since the wang doodle shot its last man blast.

http://www.sciencedump.com/content/how-do-testicles-know-make-sperm

3. Testicles are mis-matched

The average male’s left testicle isn’t exactly like the right testicle and the same goes for a pair of titties too. Yep, apples and oranges come in all different shapes and sizes. Just because Mother Nature gave you two kinky pieces of sexy fruit down there doesn’t mean they’re the same size! One is always smaller, so while your left may be the size of a ping pong ball, the right is a mere walnut.

http://www.foamem.com/author/academiclife/page/12/

4. Dick spit varies

A man blast shoots one teaspoon to one tablespoon of genetic glue after blast off. That load size lessens after the first load is released, and if you keep shagging, each discharge thereafter becomes smaller. A sexy study completed by the University of Indiana in the 1950s, by the famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, found that the longest ejaculation recorded was 8 feet!

http://imgur.com/user/OmarCruz/index/best

5. The most sensitive award goes to…

When it comes to the sensation in your sexy regions, men and women are almost identical. In two different studies that were performed at Cornell University and at Michigan State University, they used a scientific device to measure the lightest amount of pressure a person can feel on their skin. For dudes, the most sensitive award goes to the tip of the foreskin and the underside of the penis. For chicks, the most sensitive award goes to the inner labia which is science’s name for the inside of the va-jay-jay’s smallest lips.

http://plannedparenthood.tumblr.com/post/119295491786/thelittleemoits-a-penis-indeed-it-is

6. Ghost load

If you’re in the middle of a bang-fest, just doing it, doing it and doing it wild, again and again then… a) you’re a freaking stallion and b) you may jeez so many times that you eventually shoot an invisible load. What’s stranger than shooting a haunted load? A study from California’s Oakland Medical Centre says, the penis doesn’t have to be hard to expel its joy juice. Ejaculations happen when the pelvic muscles contract and a man blast from a limp prick is unusual, but salty surprises happen!

http://mestreacasa.gva.es/web/martinez_mar115/1?p_p_id=33&p_p_action=0&p_p_state=normal&p_p_mode=view&_33_struts_action=%2Fblogs%2Fview

7. Dude’s G-spot is through the back-door

If you thought Mother Nature forgot to gift dudes with a G-spot, you’ll be stoked to know that’s simply not the case. The Male G-spot is actually his prostate gland. This walnut-shaped gland contains the bulk of the joy serum and when provoked an intense orgasm is experienced. To access it, you have to enter through the back-door!

https://www.reddit.com/r/trees/comments/j7g13/if_this_gets_50_upvotes_my_girlfriend_will_make/?limit=500

8. Chopper exercises with or without you

The cock is all about flexing its guns because when it gets that rush of blood, it maintains its health and happiness. Even if you don’t twerk one out during the day or romp one out, your cock is ready to go to the gym without you while you sleep. In fact, dudes are said to experience between 3-5 erections while they sleep! Whether you’re dreaming about this or that, the impulses from a dude’s brain during the REM phase of sleep causes erections. This allows the sexy body builder to get its exercise whether or not you’ve worked him out during the day!

http://metro.co.uk/2015/11/19/you-can-now-enter-your-balls-in-a-beauty-contest-5513173/

9. Cocks can snap

It’s a not-so-sexy fact, a boner can break even though it doesn’t even have a bone! It’s called ‘penile fracture’ and it occurs when one of the membranes surrounding a blood-filled chamber ruptures. This excruciating condition can cause erectile dysfunction, an awkward bend in the penis, and a scream that rings church bells in counties far and wide. It requires immediate medical attention.

http://hero.minutebuzz.com/series–game-of-thrones-l-acteur-incarnant-stannis-baratheon-deteste-la-serie/

10. More growers than showers

There are many different types of wing wang doodles but they all fall into two categories: ‘showers’ and ‘growers.’ The ‘shower’ appears big all the time but it doesn’t really grow too much after an erection. While a ‘grower’ only expands and lengthens at the time of erection. It’s a fact, an international Men’s Health survey reported that: 79% of men have ‘growers’ while only 21% have ‘showers!’

http://dump.fm/GucciSoFlosy/2013-09-23/10907855

11. Sex objects are bigger than they appear

Real talk, imagine a tree and consider how much of its roots are underground, or think about an iceberg and consider how you only see its tip. Yeah man, now think of the cock-a-doodle-do and the same theory goes for it too. The cock is actually in boomerang mode when it’s shagging in the missionary position but unless you MRI that custard launcher, you’d never know it’s a boomerang undercover!

http://forum.phish.net/forum/show/1375433154

12. Erection grading scale

Tumescence refers to the engorgement of blood in your kinky flagpole. The “erection hardness scale” was developed by sexy scientists who were testing the drug Viagra in the 1990s. They created a scale to determine the stiffness of your soldier. It’s a four-step scale: Bigger but not yet rigid, Not hard enough for penetration, Firm for intercourse but not rock hard and Fully engorged.

http://www.notey.com/blogs/awkward-boners?page=2

13. Man with two rocket launchers!

This unfortunate medical condition may at first seem like winning the lottery, but it’s rare that both penises are fully functional. Diphallus is a rare, unfortunate medical condition that affects approximately one in five to six million homies. It’s a rare condition that isn’t as kinky as it’s freaky.

https://www.tumblr.com/search/capilla-sixtina

14. French cocks reign supreme

The French might be cocky because they’re reported to have the largest average penis size which rocks in at 6.2 inches. Most men stretch the truth when it comes to talking about their sexy portion size. When asked in a sexy survey, the average dude reported that his size was 7 to 8 inches when in reality, the average size is only 3 to 4 inches.

http://kevbakershow.com/wtf-swedish-sex-education/#sthash.iCYk3tiJ.dpbs

15. Cock clocks more loads than most freighter ships!

The average number of times a dude will jeez in his lifetime is 7, 200 times. That’s more shipments than most freighter ships make in their life span. Turns out, the average number of loads blown will actually be by the work of his own hands: 2,000 times.

http://weknowmemes.com/2012/01/cumming-skittles-gif/

16. Self-service blow job

One man in 400 are flexible enough to give themselves head. Whether or not that one man in 400 had to break ribs to become self sufficient is not known but most likely, yoga and unabashed commitment were the key ingredients involved.

17. Dude orgasm is a quickie

The male orgasm can last anywhere between 5 and 22 seconds, while the female orgasm lasts 23 seconds. It may blow your mind to consider how much time is put into blowing a load which only provides a brief all inclusive orgasmic vacation. Another kinky fact, an orgasm burns only three calories, while thirty minutes of shagging burns around 62 calories!

http://pandawhale.com/post/42395/hey-big-boy-how-ya-doing-american-pie-gif

18. Dudes need to use it or they lose it

If unused, a dude’s sexy boomerang can shrink as much as 2cm. If nothing is done to maintain normal, regular erections, the penis will shrink out of neglect and lack of self confidence!

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/Thread-Your-day-explained-in-a-GIF?page=74

19. Physical Health affects the cock’s health too

As a part of the body, the cock’s health is directly affected by the body’s health. Unhealthy habits like not getting enough sleep, eating excessive unhealthy foods and not exercising can affect erections. A study of obese homies showed that overweight dudes produce less semen. Not only that, it’s of lower quality, which can affect fertility according to a study performed by the Stanford University of Medicine in California.

http://pharmacypedia.org/12-things-to-remember-when-checking-your-balls-for-lumps/

While you may never master a self-service blowjob or consider iron crotching, you did just grow an appreciation for a whole bunch of interesting facts about what goes on underneath a dude’s hood. Did one of these facts about blowing a load, blow your mind? Or do you have a fact about the cock rocket that you think should be on this list? Then drop it in the comments below! Most importantly, stay kinky homies and check out this video about more Odd and Interesting Fun Facts about the Penis.

Gabriella Zene
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Gabriella Zene

Gabriella Zene is an American writer who joined the Escort Advertising team in early 2016. Since then, she has gained a fine reputation, and adds a high level of sex industry expertise to the team.

She is certainly most famous for her informative, yet hilarious looks at sex from around the world. However, she is also well known for her erotic stories, as well as her blogs on sexual health, which she sees as vital in helping out men and women everywhere.

When she is not knocking other trending articles out of the park, Gabriella likes walking her pet dog, and eating at nice restaurants.
Gabriella Zene
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