Are you looking to take your foreplay up a notch? For some, spanking is the ultimate sexy foreplay. Sexpert Dr Pam Spurr believes that part of the turn on of spanking is that “many find it taboo, which is a turn on itself”. On a physical level, spanking increases blood flow to the nearby genitals and causes a spike in adrenaline, which increases sexual arousal. If you use the right technique, it can also make your sex life more exciting. Follow the tips below to master the art of spanking;
Asking for It
Suggesting spanking to your partner can be difficult, as women are often nervous of being hurt and men have been brought up being told not to hit a woman. Spanking for some can seem aggressive and daunting, so when you talk about spanking, try to keep it light hearted.
If you’re confident enough, just ask your partner if they’d be willing to try spanking. Or you could start talking about your fantasies during foreplay and casually drop in that you’ve been thinking about spanking. If you’re very brave, you could whisper that your partner has been a naughty girl and needs to be taught a lesson. The latter should only be used if you have previously talked about spanking and are positive that she would like to give it a go.
If you’re shy or anxious to suggest this, you could read your partner an extract from a dirty book, watch a sexy BDSM porn scene together, or a film where you know a spanking scene takes place (we recommend A Dangerous Method or Secretary). Gage your partners’ reaction before then moving on to suggest that you try it out – this will take the embarrassment out of asking.
Set a Keyword
When trying any kind of BDSM play for the first time, it’s important to set a few keywords. Pick words that signify ‘stop’, ‘it hurts’, ‘slow down’, ‘softer’ and so forth to ensure that you are both safe and having fun. Keep in mind that it won’t be easy to hit the bed or blink twice to signal ‘stop’ if you’re tied up and face down in a pillow.
What to spank with
When starting off, we recommend that you use your hands. This allows you the opportunity control your strength and stay aware of how hard you are spanking. Once you have both explored various hand techniques, rhythms and pressures, there are an array of props, whips and paddles available to be used. Only move on to these when both of you feel ready.
Start with foreplay
So you’ve both agreed to give it a go? Great! However excited you both may be, spend some time on foreplay and increasing your sexual arousal before cracking out the whip! If neither of you are aroused, the chances are that the spanking will hurt and will kill any excitement that may have once existed!
“Don’t even think about starting the session until you’re fully aroused,” warns sexpert Tracey Cox. If you’re partner is not aroused, she’s less likely to be receptive be to erotic pain. It’s the same for men too; you should stop spanking the minute your arousal level falls.
Getting warmed up
So how should you start? If you’re ready to spank, there aren’t many rules, but we recommend starting with running your fingers lightly over her buttocks, like you’re tickling. Next place one palm on a bum cheek and one on her genitals. Keep your hands slightly cupped, with your fingers together and spank in an upwards motion – it feels better than a downwards stroke and is less likely to leave any swelling. Your spanking should be less of a slap and more of a caress. After the slap, rub the area in circles and fondle her genital, so the pain is automatically followed by pleasure.
Going Harder and Faster
After you’ve tried this a few times, if you’re both still enjoying what’s happening it’s time to shake it up a little.
Start by increasing the strength of the spanks and the timing. Varying the intensity and frequency of your spanks will heighten anticipation and arousal. As mentioned before, there are an abundance of toys, whips and paddles that can be used in the bedroom. Always take the time to check that you are both comfortable with what’s going on and that you remember your keywords.
Bondage and spanking go hand in hand with role play games and is a great way for you to unleash your sexual confidence. If you’re not quite ready for role play, you could simply introduce a blindfold for a little extra fun.
Why Not Pick the Brains of an Escort?
Whether your partner enjoys the erotic pain and pleasure of a smacked bottom or you enjoy the opportunity to explore your dominative side, spanking can be a great way to spice up your sex life. For suggestions on other techniques, textures, role play and toys; the escorts in Kildare are available. They have plenty of experience and are willing to share their knowledge over dinner or a few drinks.