Working at Escort Ireland, I like to think I have seen most things. Ever since I started running the Escort Ireland blog, I have looked round the internet and found some of the strangest tales imaginable and I thought nothing could shock me. However, this latest story coming out of America has claimed the title of the most messed up story in the history of these pages.
Florida resident Sean Johnson (19) has been busted after apparently masturbating over a stuffed horse in a supermarket.
According to the police, Johnson had been seen acting suspiciously on CCTV around 3PM last Tuesday. Well, let’s just say it gets worse from there.
A ‘Sex Toy’
Shocked police officers were then called upon hearing he had taken a stuffed animal to the bedding department. You just know at that point it probably wasn’t going to end up that well.
Employees then reported seeing Johnson masturbating with the aforementioned stuffed toy. Well, that’s an interesting day at work isn’t it?
In maybe the most vile twist to the already grim story, Johnson then put the stuffed toy back on the shelf, with his come all over it!
Workers say the items that came into contact with the horse were soiled and subsequently deemed un-sellable. You don’t say?
The rather perverted teen was charged with indecent exposure in public and criminal mischief for the act.
He was arrested and taken to the Hernando County Jail on $1,500 bond.
One suspects this guy was either drunk, high, is a pervert, or has serious mental issues . As I don’t want to start having a go at someone who may not be in complete control of his actions, I will refrain from engaging in a diatribe against the guy. Still, no matter how bad your day is going, there is always someone who has it worse than you. The guy or girl at this supermarket who had to pick up the come-covered stuffed toy is probably that person.
Other Strange Items
Now this got me thinking; what are the strangest things people have masturbated with? Well, there is usually one place to go if you want to find anything this messed up, and that is Reddit.
On there I found some seriously mad things women have used to play with themselves. We have ladies admitting to using sausages, cucumbers , a chicken leg amongst other things. However, there is a guy who says that is Mrs used an M and M dispenser, which was wrapped in an athletics sock and then covered in a condom. That has to be the winner doesn’t it? Thankfully however, these things seem to take place over in the privacy of their own homes, and not in front of supermarket employees and what I expect were rather pissed off members of the general public.
Hopefully Mr Johnson will now get the help I guess he probably needs. I would rather that happen than me having to read any more of his sexual exploits.
Then again, no matter what happens in the court system, I doubt he will be able to walk the streets without facing extensive ridicule.
That is probably the worst punishment of all!
Yiuy think this guy should be banged or helped? Comment below or in the chat at the Escort Ireland forum.
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.