The time has finally come: man is to transcend his earthly binds to reach the stars, the natural successor in his desire for a new frontier. And what better way to herald in this new age than by having sex in the unchartered vacuums of space, forever cementing our DNA (literally) into its endless expanse.

To achieve this ambitious next step in our destiny, infamous website PornHub has today launched a crowdfunding campaign to fund the first sex tape filmed in outer space. You might rightfully ask, ignoring the pun, what on earth for? But the fact is we’ve run out of naughty places on this grey and dreary planet to get busy. We’ve conquered airplane bathrooms, the kitchen, the bus and the phone booth. If something has four walls, no matter what its original purpose, a penis has met a vagina in there.

Man needs to push the limits. He needs to feel the pleasure of a zero-gravity orgasm, of watching that splattering of semen float through space like a lost worm drifting listlessly through water. This noble desire begins the age of sexploration. First the void of space will receive our mark and then, one day, the legendary footprint of Buzz Aldrin will be paired by a couple of butt creases indented onto the moon’s rocky surface.

The two porn stars who will take part in this noble expedition are Eva Lovia and Johnny Sins. The crowdfunding page features two austere pictures of the would-be sextronauts, and we can’t help but be reminded of that incongruously fat astronaut in Armageddon looking like he’s in fancy dress.

If you’re not sure what crowdfunding is, it’s essentially a place where millions of people can pool their money to reach the target funding for a specific project. Donators will be rewarded with different goodies, depending on the amount that they donate. These range from swag bags to having your name written on the spacesuits when they head to the stars. Or, alternatively, for the ludicrous amount of $150,000, you can own the actual set of spacesuits (along with all underwear involved) once they’ve been worn. One day, some lucky kid is going to receive this collector’s piece from his dying granddad, still baring the unmistakeable aroma of sex and explorative triumph. That is, of course, if something doesn’t go wrong and the dude’s penis doesn’t get sucked into the vacuum of space.

And this brings us onto another thought. What are the logistics behind having sex in space – what sort of custom spacesuits will need to be designed to escape space’s suction (the bad kind where your eyeballs pop out)?

“We’re looking to pioneer a one-of-a-kind mission to push the boundaries of intergalactic sexploration, defy gravity and make history. We are excited to change the adult industry as we currently know it by venturing into the final sexual frontier,” said Corey Price, Vice President of PornHub.

At this point, we’ve pretty much exhausted all Star Trek references. For our part, we hope to see their plans come to fruition, and maybe they’ll discover some spectacular orgasmic sensation that is unique to space. Or maybe the guy’s penis will fall off – we don’t really know, we’re not physicists, but we admire any attempt to push sexual boundaries.