Joke of the day

[monster_monster]

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?" said my late wife.

[monster_monster]

I recently organised an outcall from an escort. She's knocking on 50...

What an idiot, I live at 51.

[Dirty Harry]

a group of primary school children go on a trip to ascot races to learn about horses when its time to take the children to the toilet it is decided that the girls will go with one teacher and the boys with the other.the teacher assigned to the boys is waiting outside when one of the boys comes out to tell the teacher that none of them can reach the urinal. having no choice she goes inside and helps the boys with with there pants and begins hoisting the boys up one by one holding there willies to direct the flow as she lifts one boy up she couldnt help but notice he was unusually well endowed..trying not to stare she says you must be in year four no love he replied i am riding silver shadow in the 2.15

[Dirty Harry]

husband just walked in and said i am so busy i dont know if i am coming or going..wife said looking at your face your going .....because when your cumming you look like a fucking stroke victm trying to whistle.

[Dirty Harry]

fancy a night out next friday night charity disco in aid of women born without legs place will be crawling with fanny

[Dirty Harry]

mime artist killing spree ends in suicide negbours say its hard to believe he was a quiet man

[Dirty Harry]

how dose a knacker find his sister in long grass? simply irresistible!

[skywalker85]

whats a priest get when he wants pussy?

NUN

[Dirty Harry]

my best friend has just run off with my wife i didnt actually know the guy before it happend but now he is my best friend

[monster_monster]

Scientists have discovered intelligent DNA in some women. Unfortunatley 95% of them spat it out