Joke of the day

[LuckyLu]

You May Be a Taliban, If ...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

[Clueless]

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

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[lapd]

Very bold Emma xx

[Sgtpepper501]

Beautiful 😀😀😀

[Sgtpepper501]

That's hilarious

[Klittyliker]

My wife asked me if we can have something more 'Christmassy' on the television.

So I put FIFA 15 on and played in snowy conditions.
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My mate from the Northside has just got his kids a trampoline & a few bikes for Xmas. I asked him which website he saw them on.
He replied Google Earth!
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