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cormac12345 (08-11-15), Forrest (19-10-15), Melindablondey (19-10-15), tom sand (19-10-15)
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Fishing Joke
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Paddy and Murphy go for a day of fishing, but when they get to the bridge they realize they have forgotten their equipment. So Murphy comes up with an idea. “Paddy you hold me by the ankles over the bridge and when I see a fish I’ll grab it” so Paddy hangs him over the side. All of a sudden Murphy shouts “Paddy, pull me up quick” Paddy asks “why Murphy, have you caught a fish?” “no Paddy” Murphy replies “there’s a train coming”
" WE ARE CONNACHT "
cormac12345 (08-11-15), Forrest (19-10-15), Melindablondey (19-10-15)
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50c between them
Paddy and Murphy need a good drink but only have 50c between them. Paddy has an idea he takes the cash to the butchers and buys a sausage. They enter the first bar and order 2 pints of Guiness and down them in one. When the barman asks for payment, Paddy puts the sausage into his fly and Murphy sucks it!!! The barman goes mental and kicks them both out!!!
By the tenth pub the pair are drunk and Murphy says "I cant do this anymore my knees have gone" Paddy replies "YOUR KNEES!!! I lost the fucking sausage in the second pub!!!!!"
" WE ARE CONNACHT "
Forrest (19-10-15), Melindablondey (19-10-15)
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should of gone to spec savers ........lol Tiff
" Tiffany Tees "
Strangers are friends I have yet to meet.
alcatel (20-10-15), bollocks (20-10-15), Melindablondey (03-11-15), pigsmickey (20-10-15), tom sand (20-10-15), willie wacker (20-10-15)
Is this for real?????????????/retinal.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
alcatel (20-10-15), bootboy (20-10-15), Melindablondey (03-11-15), tom sand (20-10-15)
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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Last edited by bootboy; 20-10-15 at 22:54.
alcatel (20-10-15), emmasweet (23-10-15), MidlifeCrisis (21-10-15)
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While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I’m looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded, "Take your pick."
emmasweet (03-11-15)
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alcatel (03-11-15), cormac12345 (08-11-15), Forrest (03-11-15)
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alcatel (03-11-15), cormac12345 (08-11-15), Forrest (03-11-15), tom sand (03-11-15)
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