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Only wore once. But for 2 months.

Pm me.

Want someone to queue at the bar for me.

A census taker once tried to test me, I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice warm glass of Guinness.

Can I come too?
I'll have to get some one to feed my pet hamster though.
And I'll have to get a fake passport.
Bastard cops.

She texted back? That's probably her pimp trying to pin point your location to steal your coat.

Never stay on the phone call longer than 40 seconds as they can trace your call.

I shove one of those clearblue tests up my arse once a month and thank god they've all come back negative so far.

My favourite was by UKheather on 7th of July 2011

Marriage. I just yahooooed that.
Some sick bastards out there.

Should change your name to Attentionaddict.


D:

Just put the washing machine on a fast cycle.

This is the Necrophilia section.

My thoughts and prayers are with Barry and zilch at this very tough time.

War is horrible.
I should know
I'm a veteran of 3 call of duty games.

TonyB must have got a voucher for his birthday.
Only plausible explanation.

I think it takes him 8 hours to introduce himself.

Thrust is very important with an escort.

Tis true, you never know who's behind the screen.
Was unpleasantly surprised at a gloryhole once.

Male intuition.

Women can do what they want with their vaginas in private.
It's when they start forcing them on you and waving them around your workplace it becomes inappropriate.

#measwell

He's a great ambassador for our country.

Other 2% must be dodo.

I let mine grow long coz I love to put glitter on them at the weekends when Constance comes out to play.

Moore street wallets aren't real leather.

Being bent?