Shades of Cheating

[gjetson468]

I had an intriguing conversation with a masseuse who advertises here. She's my regular, an amazing woman, and very skilled at her job (so lads, please dont ask me who it is). She made an interesting claim saying that while she's long time married, she didn't consider her sexual encounters as "cheating".

I'm married too, and i guess we all have our lines drawn outside of which we don't wish to colour. She doesn't engage in kissing, so that's her line. I don't engage in sex so that's mine.

I guess it's never black and white, but it got me thinking whether there are indeed shades of cheating. Can only unhappy committed people cheat? Can you not be happy and yet have sexual experiences? Am I too drunk lol

What do the committed legends think?

[IrishSarahBarra]

I don’t engage in complaining that’s my line. Have you heard me complain yet? No? It’s purely work then.

[AmyTantraMassage]

Sigh. Does your partner think its cheating? It's not about your line when you're married but what you as a unit agreed on. Kissing is more intimate than sex, so to her maybe lack of intimacy isn't cheating. But is it the same fir her partner? It's nit up to an individual to decide what cheating is, it's up to both parties in the partnership/marriage. So, would your think you're cheating? If yes, then yes.

[Marko1980]

Sigh. Does your partner think its cheating? It's not about your line when you're married but what you as a unit agreed on. Kissing is more intimate than sex, so to her maybe lack of intimacy isn't cheating. But is it the same fir her partner? It's nit up to an individual to decide what cheating is, it's up to both parties in the partnership/marriage. So, would your think you're cheating? If yes, then yes.

This is the only real take on this subject.
Excellent.

[gjetson468]

I don’t engage in complaining that’s my line. Have you heard me complain yet? No? It’s purely work then.

That's a good enough line 😁 I guess it's simpler when you have a clear distinction between work and play.

[Waltzingmatilda]

Okay I just read the first post. If I were the OP I’d get out of the relationship. If you have kids (sorry I only read the OP).
I’d be far more hesitant. Divorce ain’t kind on kids. I know that from first hand experience.


Look I know a friend who came out of a 16 year relationship. His GF was a tad…ahem… nuanced. Personally I would play the field in my twenties. Afterwards I’d start looking for something more solid. ( Oh well that experiment failed for me ��) But seriously getting older and being alone can be fine for some people. For others it’s torture. There’s an evolutionary reason why humans, in general, bond for life.

[gjetson468]

Sigh. Does your partner think its cheating? It's not about your line when you're married but what you as a unit agreed on. Kissing is more intimate than sex, so to her maybe lack of intimacy isn't cheating. But is it the same fir her partner? It's nit up to an individual to decide what cheating is, it's up to both parties in the partnership/marriage. So, would your think you're cheating? If yes, then yes.

Very interesting. Frankly, i admire couples who have the openness in their relationships to talk about something as complex as this..i wonder if it's easier to convince your partner than it is to accept it yourself. More power to those who do :-)

[AmyTantraMassage]

Very interesting. Frankly, i admire couples who have the openness in their relationships to talk about something as complex as this..i wonder if it's easier to convince your partner than it is to accept it yourself. More power to those who do :-)

It's not about convincing, that seems more like ligh coercion to me. It's about coming to an understanding and if that doesn't go well, them compromise. No ultimatum, just a raw and honest conversation about expectations, needs and being able to see each others view points.

[ford pefect]

It's not about convincing, that seems more like ligh coercion to me. It's about coming to an understanding and if that doesn't go well, them compromise. No ultimatum, just a raw and honest conversation about expectations, needs and being able to see each others view points.

Have you ever tried to talk to an Irish woman about sex, in my experience she will agree with you and promise to make more of an effort just to stop the conversation, then nothing changes.
Just my experience anyway.

[Clubcard]

I once had to go to a different barber as mine was out sick. I felt like I was being disloyal and felt like I was cheating on him.
But the new guy did a cracking job, kinda full works. Nice haircut. Eyebrows trimmed, ear hair trim, nose hair trim and had great coffee and conversation.

I still go to my old barber!!