Shades of Cheating

[gjetson468]

I had an intriguing conversation with a masseuse who advertises here. She's my regular, an amazing woman, and very skilled at her job (so lads, please dont ask me who it is). She made an interesting claim saying that while she's long time married, she didn't consider her sexual encounters as "cheating".

I'm married too, and i guess we all have our lines drawn outside of which we don't wish to colour. She doesn't engage in kissing, so that's her line. I don't engage in sex so that's mine.

I guess it's never black and white, but it got me thinking whether there are indeed shades of cheating. Can only unhappy committed people cheat? Can you not be happy and yet have sexual experiences? Am I too drunk lol

What do the committed legends think?

[IrishSarahBarra]

I don’t engage in complaining that’s my line. Have you heard me complain yet? No? It’s purely work then.

[AmyTantraMassage]

Sigh. Does your partner think its cheating? It's not about your line when you're married but what you as a unit agreed on. Kissing is more intimate than sex, so to her maybe lack of intimacy isn't cheating. But is it the same fir her partner? It's nit up to an individual to decide what cheating is, it's up to both parties in the partnership/marriage. So, would your think you're cheating? If yes, then yes.

[gjetson468]

I don’t engage in complaining that’s my line. Have you heard me complain yet? No? It’s purely work then.

That's a good enough line 😁 I guess it's simpler when you have a clear distinction between work and play.

[gjetson468]

Sigh. Does your partner think its cheating? It's not about your line when you're married but what you as a unit agreed on. Kissing is more intimate than sex, so to her maybe lack of intimacy isn't cheating. But is it the same fir her partner? It's nit up to an individual to decide what cheating is, it's up to both parties in the partnership/marriage. So, would your think you're cheating? If yes, then yes.

Very interesting. Frankly, i admire couples who have the openness in their relationships to talk about something as complex as this..i wonder if it's easier to convince your partner than it is to accept it yourself. More power to those who do :-)

[Waltzingmatilda]

Okay I just read the first post. If I were the OP I’d get out of the relationship. If you have kids (sorry I only read the OP).
I’d be far more hesitant. Divorce ain’t kind on kids. I know that from first hand experience.


Look I know a friend who came out of a 16 year relationship. His GF was a tad…ahem… nuanced. Personally I would play the field in my twenties. Afterwards I’d start looking for something more solid. ( Oh well that experiment failed for me ��) But seriously getting older and being alone can be fine for some people. For others it’s torture. There’s an evolutionary reason why humans, in general, bond for life.

[ford pefect]

I believe my wife suspects but doesn’t know for sure, she has no interest in sex anymore so this suits us both , apart from sex all is good .
and the amount of time spent having sex in a relationship is quite small, just my opinion

[Bruce 4play]

I had an intriguing conversation with a masseuse who advertises here. She's my regular, an amazing woman, and very skilled at her job (so lads, please dont ask me who it is). She made an interesting claim saying that while she's long time married, she didn't consider her sexual encounters as "cheating".

I'm married too, and i guess we all have our lines drawn outside of which we don't wish to colour. She doesn't engage in kissing, so that's her line. I don't engage in sex so that's mine.

I guess it's never black and white, but it got me thinking whether there are indeed shades of cheating. Can only unhappy committed people cheat? Can you not be happy and yet have sexual experiences? Am I too drunk lol

What do the committed legends think?

It's only cheating if your partner doesn't know about it.

[Mrbean76]

I had an intriguing conversation with a masseuse who advertises here. She's my regular, an amazing woman, and very skilled at her job (so lads, please dont ask me who it is). She made an interesting claim saying that while she's long time married, she didn't consider her sexual encounters as "cheating".

I'm married too, and i guess we all have our lines drawn outside of which we don't wish to colour. She doesn't engage in kissing, so that's her line. I don't engage in sex so that's mine.

I guess it's never black and white, but it got me thinking whether there are indeed shades of cheating. Can only unhappy committed people cheat? Can you not be happy and yet have sexual experiences? Am I too drunk lol

What do the committed legends think?

If you're having sex with another person without your partners knowledge or consent then you're cheating. Just don't get caught

[Marko1980]

Sigh. Does your partner think its cheating? It's not about your line when you're married but what you as a unit agreed on. Kissing is more intimate than sex, so to her maybe lack of intimacy isn't cheating. But is it the same fir her partner? It's nit up to an individual to decide what cheating is, it's up to both parties in the partnership/marriage. So, would your think you're cheating? If yes, then yes.

This is the only real take on this subject.
Excellent.