Originally Posted by
AmyTantraMassage
I have loads of couples, some of whom book in individually. In some cultures, like Japan, if it's a paid service, it's not cheating. With most Europeans, as long as it's not someone they both like it can come out of individual spending money (again, I've couples that only see me when together and the boundary is I'm not to book one without the other, not even for a professional massage). When I book clients, I speak 90% with the woman. She sets the pace and her comfort comes 1st, because she might go along with it to please him but a few days/weeks/months later....
For me, kissing is cheating. It's my love language so that's a hard rule. So is confiding in her, especially things he won't tell me, even if they're about me. I'm ok with sex, especially stuff I won't do (can not stand the texture of precum/cum in my mouth, WILL NEVER do anal so he can go to someone else) and same if he wants to go to an escort (it can't be someone we socialise with/know - again, emotional cheating possibility- one he might not be aware of). I love going to strip clubs and taking turns paying, I'm good going g to sex parties, love them. His pleasure will be my pleasure I LOVE watching. I HATE being lied to. Of he wants to go do something, tell me, don't lie, coz once I start questioning my trust for him.
As I'm always saying, just because you've found your fave meal, even if it's cooked with different flavours and textures sometimes, it's unfeasible and unhealthy to expect someone to always only eat the same meal. Mix it up. Make jambo or try something completely different as long as, should your fav meal stop being your fav meal, or it's not seasoned enough anymore or at all, or you need a break from it, honesty is paramount.
The problem with women in this country is, once they're with a guy, they somehow expect him to stop being attracted to other women. Or ignore the things she won't do but he likes. Women, we're mostly about imagination (it's why most of us love smut books
that and all kinks in it are 'safe', like how alpha wold zaddy can choke me as i cum, whereas irl, nah you ain't allowed to apply pressure, it's about hand placement .... whilst men are more visual. I can vividly imagine myself with Henry Cavill and if a guy can't handle that, because, then it's cheating too no?
So it's not and never about the action, it's about how your partner feels about said action.
Most women have low self esteem and blame low libido. Then when they've no interest, they literally ignore how they're partner still needs that. The physicality and connection and release of it all. Because if they do t acknowledge it... and that's beyond d selfish. Both parties are to blame because that should be discussed along with all future plans like kids, using a house etc. For a Catholic country, dunno why pre-marriage counselling was never mandatory.