I've never seen one of those industrial strength condoms but my pet hate regarding condoms is the escort that only leaves out one condom on the bedside locker even though I've paid for an hour. I once pranked an escort that does this by slipping a second condom from the drawer while h̶e̶r̶ ̶m̶o̶u̶t̶h̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶f̶u̶l̶l̶ she wasn't looking. She didn't notice until well into the main act, then panicked thinking I was going bareback. She nearly threw me out of the apartment, then relented, shared a shower with me, had a laugh and then we used the second condom.
To anyone that doesn't like me here.
I hope you need to pee 3 times tonight, but that you only wake up twice.