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FatBastard

The Fat Bastard story

Rating: 16 votes, 3.00 average.
So, I’ve been holding off writing this out for a couple of reasons. One being not wanting to put the scud on a good thing, the other being wondering if anyone would ever care enough to read my pish. I finally decided that enough time as passed that I’m secure with where I am, and I know when I started out on this journey I would have appreciated something like this, and I’ve had a few people PM me over the last year or so asking about my experiences as a virgin seeing sex workers. Also, this will be a rather long, rambling wall of text. To be honest I don’t care if anyone ever reads it, it just feels cathartic to let it out since it’s not the sort of thing I can really talk to anyone about in the real world. Please note that I’ll not be mentioning names of ladies, even though every experience was good, I don’t think it’s fair to be going into details.

I’ll also add that as soon as I post this I am abandoning this account, so I won’t be able to respond to anyone. The method of losing an account (as opposed to making a woe is me scene on the forum like some knobs tend to do asking to have their account deactivated) is to change the email address to a disposable one (google: disposable email address) and use a random password generator to create a password that you DON’T save. Boom. Account access is lost to you (and anyone except for admins) forever.

So, for anyone who can’t be arsed looking through my post history I’ll start from the beginning way back when. I’ve always, as the username suggests, been a fat bastard. Zero experience with the opposite sex as a child/teenager, and far too shy and socially awkward to ever do anything about it. I got to around 24 years old, discovered E-I and thought this could be interesting. I trawled the ads for weeks, lurked the forums for months trying to soak up any knowledge I could so I could go into this with my eyes open (even though it was not illegal at the time).

Eventually (on an old account, I might add that’s been long abandoned) I settled on a lady that had forum presence and had been advertising for a long time and had a slew of good reviews. Finally plucked up the courage to make the call. I followed through with the appointment, she was very understanding of my nerves and awkwardness, but she done her best to put me at ease and for that I am thankful – I could not have been an easy client.

Anyway, the deed was done. The lady in question was very accommodating to my awkwardness, I enjoyed myself enough that I went back to her maybe 3 or 4 times. Ultimately though, I was so unable to talk to women that even though I was enjoying the bookings, it was almost a chore because I just couldn’t speak, barely able to even make eye contact, so I stopped. I had done it. I was no longer a virgin. Job done.

Fast forward around 5 years (until the start of last year) and my work situation changed, and meant I had quite a bit more disposable income, so I started lurking the ads here, and on other sites. I was still living alone, full on loner although not quite as fat having lost around 15kg the year previous. I thought to myself since I’m going to die alone anyway I might as well have a little fun along the way and explore a couple of fetishes I always wanted to try. Ended up being intimidated by most of the profiles so held off, until one on another site caught my eye.

Made contact, booked a time, and this is where everything changed. Ended up spending most of the booking talking, and honestly that was better than the sex. Sitting beside a woman just talking and having her (appear, at least) to be genuinely interested was a strange and new experience. To be myself without fear of being judged really, really boosted my confidence no end. So after quite a few visits (again with most of the time being spent talking (at my insistence)) I plucked up the courage to contact a couple of the ladies on E-I with the intimidating (to me at least) profiles.

And much to my surprise I was pretty much accepted as I am and had some fantastic experiences. The phrase that kind of made me revaluate things was being told “you know you’re not that fat, and you seem a decent chap you should put yourself out there.” That rattled around my head for a few weeks. Put myself out there. We’re talking 30 and never had a single date, clubs were not (and still are not) my scene, where the hell is ‘out there?’

So, like any nerd it had to be online. I looked at the mainstream sites. Ugh. Big ugly pic of myself for the world to ignore. I stayed signed up for a month, was too scared to contact anyone and (obviously) I didn’t get a single message. I closed my account the day I found another site. It’s somewhat different in that it’s dating/introductions for the social outcasts. The fat, the ugly, the weird, the zero confidence. A huge selling point for me is it pushes that you don’t have a pic on your profile, that you get to know someone first a little before that.

Signed up, made my profile, and thought well it’s anonymous and no pics up front, so 99% of these accounts are probably scams but what the hell, I’ll go in with my eyes open. I actually answered a couple of ads, we’d talk back and forth for a day or so then the conversation would teeter off as it would seem both of us would struggle to keep a conversation going. I was about to close that account after only talking to 4 or 5 people and I spied an ad and thought why not, last shout before I give up and go back to the hermit life.

Sent the message, got a reply, and we started chatting. A few days in and we’re still talking daily, getting to know each other. By the 2 week mark we’re instant messaging pretty much all day every day. My bullshit detector was going off the charts. She likes the TV/movies I like. She’s into other stuff I’m into. We have very similar sarcastic senses of humour, and both hated our bodies and were/are terrible socially. Eventually we swapped pics and this was it. She was cute as a button so I thought for sure this is a scam, no way I’m getting along so well with a woman ‘in the wild’ never mind one so attractive.

A month or so in and we’re talking all day every day, she’s pushing for a meet but I was close to just blocking, I was so sure it was a catfishing job. But, I thought I’ll regret it forever if I don’t try and see. So we met. At her place. Watched a movie. Spent the night. Wink wink nudge nudge. What. The. Fuck. I met a woman, get on like a house on fire, and had mutually enjoyable sex without handing over an envelope at the start. I still can't even.

Plenty of time passed on and we’re both well into our first ever relationship. It’s still new and exciting, and we’re treading carefully, but it’s so great for a lifelong loner to have somebody to come home to every day. To have something/someone to actually live for; and I suppose this is kind of the point of this verbal diarrhoea. I went on and paid for sex after it was made illegal, but only because I had dipped my toe in the water when it was legal so I mostly knew what the risks were. Had I not, I’d have been too scared to do it, I’d have never got the confidence to approach a woman, and I’d be still living my lonely miserable existence (if still alive at all).

To any other older virgins considering seeing a sex worker – do it. Lurk the forums and read what you can, go in with your eyes open and you’ll have a great time.

To the forum regulars I’ve chatted with, cheers for the entertainment and all the best.

To the ladies – thank you. I know I couldn’t have been an easy client, especially at the start. I have no reason to doubt how genuine you were, but at any rate if it was an act yous are hella good actors.

To the DUP and other dicks that criminalised this? Go fuck yourselves with the wide end of your bible. Two consenting adults exchanging time for money harms nobody. Had this loser not have done it there’d probably eventually have been another suicide statistic. Sex workers gave me the confidence to go out and live a normal, happy, well-adjusted life. Who the fuck are you out of touch cunts to deny that to anyone?


Goodbye.
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Comments

  1. Curvaceous Kate's Avatar
    I know you can't read this but thank you for taking the time to write it. I'm so glad that you found someone and are now living the life that you wanted. You're worth it! Kate x
  2. JMastodon's Avatar
    Powerful stuff, congratulations Fat Bastard. I could echo his story except I'm not fat and I was 40! before I broke my virginity on this site. Still searching for a relationship though.
  3. Clueless's Avatar
    Great stuff - the girls are as good as therapists!
    I not fat either so that leaves me as just a bastard!!