A little bit of humour

[Forrest]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"



A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."




When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

[Forrest]

Three nuns die and are at the gates of heaven and St. Peter pops up and says "Before you enter heaven you must each answer one question correctly".

The first Nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?" to which she replied "Adam" and was allowed into heaven.

The second Nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?" to which she replied "Eve" and was allowed into heaven.

The third Nun was asked "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" to which she replied "Ohh! That's a hard one"

[Forrest]

The head Nun of the convent called all 100 Nuns into the foyer for an emergency meeting.

"Last night," She started "I found something terrible in one of the sisters rooms."
99 Nuns "Oh no"
1 Nun "He, he"

"A condom!" said the head Nun.
99 Nuns "Oh no"
1 Nun "He, he"

Head Nun "And it was used!"
99 Nuns "Oh no"
1 Nun "He, he"

Head Nun "And it had a hole in it!"
1 Nun "Oh no"
99 Nuns "He, he"

[corkpunter]

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

I know this is supposed to be a joke etc. but it seems to rear its head every couple of years, when someone sends an email to you with this info, unfortunately it isn't entirely correct. More on snopes: snopes.com: NASA Space Pen

[Forrest]

I know this is supposed to be a joke etc. but it seems to rear its head every couple of years, when someone sends an email to you with this info, unfortunately it isn't entirely correct. More on snopes: snopes.com: NASA Space Pen

Once more I have been caught out. I really ought to check the facts in future, before trying to poke fun at NASA.

[Doozer]

Once more I have been caught out. I really ought to check the facts in future, before trying to poke fun at NASA.

Maybe it was they Kerry branch of NASA.
The ones who said they would send a rocket to the sun at night

[Paddii]

The Greek god, Thor decides to pay a little visit to earth and sample the fleshly pleasures. So he comes down and meets a young lady and spends the next week in bed with her, really going at it. At the end of the week he thinks to himself, "I suppose I better tell her who I am." So he turns round to her and says, "I'm Thor." The lady looked at him and said, "You're thor? I'm tho thor I can't even pith!"