User300415

I had enjoyed this life for such a long, long period. In my time I met some beautiful women, both physically and character wise. I experienced times of intimate passion with girls that any man would be proud to just even know.

I justified my actions on the grounds that I wasn't having an affair. I even believed that I was being responsible by ensuring that I never exposed myself to an emotional attachment. But I felt that I was addicted. This life controlled me and I paid no heed to either the time or money it consumed. And then I did get emotioally attached.

When I got her mail that berated me for what she called my selfish behaviour in this life I was simply apoplectic. How dare she, given her own current and past and future. But it was an insight into how friends and family would react if they discovered this lifestyle of ours. Are we all simply deluding ourselves? We are denying those close to us precious time and money. We are stealing these most important things from them.

And I have become uneasy about the true independence of many of the girls that I saw. My life choice is questionable. Involvement in trafficking is truly deplorable.

So how do I stop? The advent of the smart phone makes it so so much harder. You need it but it serves as an enticing window back into that delicious world of lust. I have started to leave my plastic cards at home and to only carry pocket money with me. That has been a saviour on a couple of occasions. I have even had the will power on a few other times to turn back from going to a neighbourhood where escorts I had enjoyed meeting before were back in town. I had been monogamous when I knew her but it was really the attraction to her that blotted out all other temptations. Can I do it now all on my own? Deep down I know that I will punt if the opportunity and circumstances present themselves. Is there anything more I can do?

I suppose for now it's just a case of one day at a time.