Violette's Blog

I pride myself on having lovely lingerie, matching lingerie I might add. Lovely make up, a clean sweet lady garden, neatly trimmed, manicured nails and a pleasing personality. But as I sit here before my computer, trying to resist the urge to bang my head on the marble countertop, with the will to live slowly ebbing from my soul, I am at a lost to begin to explain why yet again another pair of my knickers has gone missing?

It boggles the sane mind, why someone would steal my panties. What is the thief going to do with them? Wank off and sniff the last vestiges of my scent, which will fade as soon as they are exposed to the air for any period of time? How the hell is he going to hide them from his wife?

What is he going to say if discovered with some strange woman's panties over his head whilst jerking off in the closet? "Oops, I slipped?" Believe me she will notice that they aren't hers. We women have a picture perfect memory when it comes to our undies inventory.

Or will he be brazenly enough to slip them into the wash and pretend the that the dryer spat them out? When it is a known universal truth that dryers only withdraw socks and don't deposit undies. Mine usually only takes the left sock.

Perhaps he is a collector, and has them nicely vacuumed packed in little plastic baggies all lined up in little draws with tags and dates; in a temperature controlled room where he lovingly sits and admires the knickers of the escorts he has known, whilst sipping cognac and listening to Vivaldi in surround sound?

Where does this strange urge come from, this desire to run off with a used pair of ladies knickers? It certainly wasn't from getting a glimpse from the Sisters of Mercy lacy French unmentionables.

To date, I have 6 lonely bras that are missing their bottoms. I am ready to start an auction, so the sad individuals who stole them can bid and reunite the set. At least I will sleep better knowing my knicker and bra a once again together.

I am having a strange day.