Job Application

[Forrest]

Quotes Taken from actual work performance evaluations:
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be."
5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
6. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
8. "This young man has delusions of adequacy."
9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
10. "This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts, the better."
11. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."