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Do we need more than just an Italian football manager?
Biffo: I've screwed the entire country and will get my balls handed to me at the next election.
Patron: Aye getta di erectione every day, enna di laydees empty mei nutellas fora me.
Biffo: How do you get away with such arrogance towards your people?
Patron: Aye am molto ricchi enna aye giffa di laydees molto di money.
Biffo: I'm in hock to the foreign banks, the ECB and the IMF and cant afford giveaway budgets.
Patron: Iffa you giffa di laydees molto di money izza molto buono fora di economia.
Biffo: Well we are were we are and I can't see any easy solutions going forward.
Patron: Giffa di laydees di money enna den you taxa di sexo enna di prostitutione.
Biffo: We are a Catholic country and the people would never stand for that.
Patron: Inna Italia no haffa di problemo di standy-upy....di erectione issa phenomenon naturali.
Biffo: Can you give me a bailout.....I mean lend me a few billion Euro?
Patron: Yes, budda you gotta doa somathing fora me two.
Biffo: No problem just as long as the interest rate is less than 5.8%.
Patron: No, izza loan di no interesso.
Biffo: In that case I'll even kiss your auld Italian arse fer ye if you can get me outta this shit.
Patron: No necessario di rimma me ora doa di sheet. Aye ama sexualli molto conservativo.
Biffo: I'll cut the VAT rate on Italian restaurants and take aways then.
Patron: No issa about di cucina italiana you fukka gorda. Issa about di economia stupido.
Biffo: Jaysus, what then Silvio.....I'm runnin outta feckin pitch here.
Patron: Aye ama di Patron offa one grand organizzazione ina Irlanda. Izza nama izza E-I.
Biffo: Never heard of it Silvio.
Patron: No izza problemo. Molto di your partido izza di membri inna dizza organizzazione.
Biffo: Then why was I not invited to join also?
Patron: Cosa you izza on di listo di faccia brutta.
Biffo: So what can I do for this organisation of yours?
Patron: Aye gonna giffa you un numero di telefono and you gonna talka widda Senora Patrizzia.
Biffo: What do I say when I ring this Patricia?
Patron: You makka di appointamento toa sea she. She tella you where you izza gonna go two.
Biffo: Should I bring any of my ministers, civil servant advisers or garda minders with me?
Patron: No no no.....Dio, budda you izza un fukka stupido. You izza goa alone.
Biffo: Will she expect me to bring anything with me?
Patron: Juzza washa di hole di ass gorda enna your Micheal di mouse iffa you kanna find eat.
Biffo: What will she do for me?
Patron: Nada.....you izza gonna dua eat fora she.
Biffo: What exactly?
Patron: Legalizzazione di laydees enna organizzazione di palazzo di pleasure inna Irlanda.
Biffo: And what if I won't do this?
Patron: Aye no giffa enne money enna aye cumma to Irlanda enna stand ona your erectione.
Biffo: Ahh Jaysus Silvio, you really now how to kick a man when he's down.
Patron: Yes inna di nutellas amico.
Last edited by E-I Patron; 20-12-10 at 17:02.
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