Crap joke of the day

[whiteball]

Went skydiving today for the 1st time.
After waiting in line, a guy walks up and
straps himself to me and we jump. Halfway
down he asks, "How long have you been an
instructor?"

[whiteball]

Paddy gets stopped towing a horsebox
on the motorway.
The police officer asks, "Where are you
going?"
"I'm taking these horses to the rases,"
replies Paddy.
"But its empty!? said the copper.
"I know," said Paddy, "I'm taking the non
runners first!"

[whiteball]

Mick decided to play his mate
Paddy a visit. "Bejesus Paddy!"
said Mick, greeted by a living
room full of chairs, "Where did
all these frigging chairs come
from?"
"Doctors waiting room," beamed
Paddy. "Every time I go there the
receptionist says please take a seat."

[whiteball]

The wife says I keep pushing her buttons.
If that were true, I would have found the
'mute button' by now.

[whiteball]

I bought a racehorse today. I've called it,
"My Face." I don't care if he doesn't win I
just want to hear thousands of posh tarts
shouting, 'Come on My Face.'

[whiteball]

I got a call from the police station
saying they want to interview me.
I don't remember applying for a job
there.

[whiteball]

TAMPAX have announced that they
will be taking the string off tampons
and replacing it with tinsel...
This is for the Christmas period only...

[whiteball]

My Mrs. gave me £60 and told me to go out
and get something that makes her looks sexy...
You should have seen her face when I came
home pissed.

[whiteball]

14,000 people are having sex right now.
25,000 are kissing. 50,000 are hugging.
And you... well you're reading this.
Trust me, I'm not happy about it either.

[Mrbean76]