I think the key is just finding your groove as a site and the best general plan for moderating. I get the impression that some of you maybe are still feeling out how you want to resolve issues and don't have a specific course of action for if A, B and C happens. If I'm wrong I'm wrong and that's fine. It's just these issues are unusual for an established forum/site. From my perspective, once you have the following in a site, things run relatively smoothly:
-A mechanism in place that filters trolls or makes trolling more difficult (particularly with new users) that doesn't require mod attention (IP tracking is a great tool as well)
-A specific course of action for posters crossing "red lines"
-A general course of action for the subversive trolls that continue to push but never quite cross the red lines (three strikes rule, PM/short ban/long ban, etc...)
-A firm grasp of what exactly you want the site to be (or Mission Statement if you want to get all corporate), and the ability to judge whether or not posts violate that mission statement
I'm going to use an example and while I won't name names the fact that you will automatically know who I'm talking about in my mind supports my point.
*New poster puts up a request for an escort to literally taste his shit
*New poster tells another new poster to drink and drive, states that it is a joke after being publicly called out by a mod
*New poster puts up thread talking about spots on his penis
*New poster puts up a thread stating escorts are racist
*New poster puts up a post lamenting that a troll was banned
*New poster declares that Irish accents are akin to nails on a chalkboard
*New poster declares that his penis is smelly
*New poster declares interest in tasting his own cum
*New poster has zero reviews despite being active for months
I want to make it clear that I am not trying to make this about you-know-who. He is just the perfect point for this. At a certain point early on one would think "oh he's just an odd guy with a weird fetish". But as posts continue and the trend continues and gets weirder and weirder, you have to at some point think "Is he a troll?". This is supported by the fact that he is called out as a troll in just about every thread he makes, by escorts and punters alike. After looking at this whole list, many are inflammatory and clearly troll-like, with no point aside from pot-stirring. Should he be banned? I'm sure you can guess my position. BUT more importantly, even from my perspective I would ask, "Did a mod at some point talk to this guy? Has an effort been made to tell him he's going too far?". That's what I am hoping for at least, that even if you're not quite as quick to wave the hammer as I would be, that mods are at least talking to these people that are constantly being reported.