Oven Ready Eddie Will You Survive Xmas???

[Oven Ready Eddie]

Eddie,

We have come to love you dearly over the last while, and, given the time of year it is (such a dangerous time for turkeys), we are getting concerned about your welfare.

Please assure us you will survive yuletide and be with us in the new year?

Pat x

Fear not for Eddie is way ahead of the posse (no that’s not a typo). I have been undergoing extensive plastic surgery for months now and as I think the first att pic below will attest I have managed to attain an uncanny resemblance to one wee Tyrone lad who ‘almost’ won the X factor and if that don’t work then its on to plan B which the second att pic will explain far better then this humble randy rooster.

I’m doing the Xmas shopping today with the missus’s which is a feckin nightmare let me tell you when you have 500 wives to follow around aldi all day (were on a budget, no not budgie….BUDGET). we decided to charter a plane up to Dublin but I’ve no luck as it got hijacked by the burka boys and it wasn’t the smoothest of take offs (see pic 3) not sure where they plan to go but I heard it’s a toss up between KFC or Bernard Matthews home (GULP!!!) so either way my goose is cooked. I’m sick a parrot to be honest as I wanted to fly Ryanair but would those 500 cluckers listen?………noooooooo……

Anyway the next few days will tell if my plan will work so wings crossed and god willing I’ll live to see in the new year.

A merry Christmas to all the feathered fowl and game birds (sorry) this festive season and remember a turkey is not just for Christmas, its for……………(hang on…….it is only for Christmas)…………RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

YouTube - Nelly Furtado - I'm Like A Bird

Btw I think you win the award for the most subtle double entendre on an Escort site with the line...

‘We have come to love you dearly’

I think we all can identify with that and would make for a great E-I motto