What would you want said to you when you first enter Heaven?

[Clyde]

So that's what Doozer looks like

[justfrank44]

here's your brush and mop, start cleaning, I want this place to look heavenly

[Curvaceous Kate]

Nice to see you, you're gran and grandad are waiting for you to join them at the party. Oh and cat's do have souls, we have Zoe and hearty up here sleeping on your bed and keeping it warm for you.

[Lincoln]

I guess he'll say to me

"Well Mr. Lincoln you finally made it. I won't lie to you my good man I am not impressed with the amount of wanking you indulged in but to heck with that you were a pretty nice and decent bloke and since you didnt actually believe I existed I would imagine you are somewhat taken aback and are perhaps thinking about all that self-abuse you mistakenly thought was occuring unobserved so I will let you compose yourself for a few moments...."

continues after a decent pause

"Now, two things:

Your only modes of apprehension in the earthly firmamnet were time and space and their interplay which you would understand to be causality. No such dimensions exist here, so explaining what your existence will consist of from now will actually be impossible for your still corporeal sensibilities to understand. All I can say is that it is roughly 1000 times nicer than that feeling you have when you wake up on a Saturday morning and think momentarily that it is Friday but then you realise with a flood of relief that its Saturday and you can sleep in.

The second thing is that I am about to tell you the thing that will make you understand the totality and meaning of why it was you existed as a human and what meaning it had in the universal scheme of things. I know a lot of what happened to you through out your life hurt you and much of it you had little or no control over, also any time you were truly happy in your life it was always tinged with feelings of an inabilty to hold on to the happiness and an inchoate sense that it would soon end. Well now I am here to let you know what it ACTUALLY meant.

Come a little bit closer and I will tell you son....."

[wolrac]

When i finally make it upstairs big G will ask what did you do in life ? I'll answer I was a punter with E-I . Big G will say Come in my son you've been in hell long enough .

[UB40]

Earth is safe at last!

[wolfie]

Eve is all yours mate .......

[longtipp]

I've just sent the virgin to your room.

[doodlebug]

Ah Doodles, welcome aboard, I don't need to explain to much to you as you have already met many of the angels when you were visiting the ladies of EI,