Secret diary of a Dublin call girl

[ksteve]

The problem is she probably would judge your experience. Its not a...ah....level playing field in that regard. Someone who went through dire experiences becoming s focal point to comment on/judge the industry as a whole: If you question their point at all you kinda look like a callous bastard.

Cant' be resolved this one folks.

Its easy to get to look like that on these boards too.!!

[samlad]

Okay, Nicole, Patricia and I have discussed the banning of Stella Mar and we have decided that it is only fair for someone with opposing views to sex workers to join the community and have her say on the matter, just as long (like every one else) she doesn't breach any of the forum rules. I will be unbanning her so that she can continue to join in the discussion.

[UKHeather]

I think there is a big difference between this type of being 'forced' and a girl being actually intimidated into performing
acts either by her client or her bosses.

However, no doubt the pro- criminalsation lobby would argue that even women who choose to escort are in fact forced to offer sexual services.

Hi Steve. You are using words like forced in the context of it being a physical forcing. Just a quick question. Do you think that escorts, given the choice, would rather provide company to clients or sex? I am speaking about every single client who turns up.
I once gave a client only company because I didn't want to have sex with him. He went nuts, telling me there was an 'unwritten understanding' that escorts have sex. Make of that what you will.

[Lincoln]

Hi Steve. You are using words like forced in the context of it being a physical forcing. Just a quick question. Do you think that escorts, given the choice, would rather provide company to clients or sex? I am speaking about every single client who turns up.
I once gave a client only company because I didn't want to have sex with him. He went nuts, telling me there was an 'unwritten understanding' that escorts have sex. Make of that what you will.

Well Heather like any other civilised human being I subscribe to the rule of "no means no". If I had ever attended an appointment with an escort and a flat statement of "I will not have sex with you" was made I would say "Ok". Depending on the circumstance I might say "I would rather not continue the appointment" and I would probably ask for a portion of the money to be returned and I would probably end the appointment or alternatively I might say "No problem" and I would see how the rest of the appointment just panned out. Consenual being the absolute operative word.

The agressive behaviour towards you was completely out of order. I must ask though:

A. Why would you have accommodated that appointment at all, you must have known immediately you would not desire any sexual contact?

B. Via a site where the escorts list sexual services available why would you feign surprise at a client expecting sex during an appointment?

[ksteve]

Okay, Nicole, Patricia and I have discussed the banning of Stella Mar and we have decided that it is only fair for someone with opposing views to sex workers to join the community and have her say on the matter, just as long (like every one else) she doesn't breach any of the forum rules. I will be unbanning her so that she can continue to join in the discussion.

Very good. However, she doesnt seem to be listed as a member and her deleted post has not been re-instated.

[samlad]

Very good. However, she doesnt seem to be listed as a member and her deleted post has not been re-instated.

Well, she is unbanned and I have emailed her personally to let her know the situation. The post has been quoted since so I won't be reinstating it, but you can continue to debate it if you like. Whether she decides to return or not is up to her. I will leave you to debate it now, so please don't water this thread down by replying to this post.

[ksteve]

Hi Steve. You are using words like forced in the context of it being a physical forcing. Just a quick question. Do you think that escorts, given the choice, would rather provide company to clients or sex? I am speaking about every single client who turns up.
I once gave a client only company because I didn't want to have sex with him. He went nuts, telling me there was an 'unwritten understanding' that escorts have sex. Make of that what you will.

No, not at all . Coercion need not be restricted to the threat of physical force. Blackmail ,undue influence etc , can be very powerful forms of coercion which may not include any element of physical force.

WRT your question -- is there anyone who claims that an escort would want to have sex with 'every single client' that she meets ? No of course not, but I am not sure where this takes the discussion on independent escorts being 'forced ' to have sex.

I am probably not the person best placed to query on the issue of the 'unwritten understanding '. I tend to be hyper sensitive to the sentiments and wishes of the escort. During a booking I will often check that she is happy with this or that and if not ,I cease it immediately. If I get a sniff that the lady may be uncomfortable with me per se, I would leave and in fact did so once notwithstanding her protestations then and afterwards that she did not have a problem. Indeed, I have even on very rare occasions sought a kind of 'advance clearance ' from an escort and on the one occasion I was refused, I respected her decision gracefully albeit with some disappointment . Some escorts do have a vetting procedure too and good luck to them. Cash does not entitle the client to anything.

Generally speaking though I would think that if the escort's adv profile welcomes all comers, then most guys would expect, provided they are clean, respectful, with cash etc ( there being no recognisable negative reason ) , that the escort will exercise her discretion in favour of sex with the client. That seems to be the accepted norm from escorts and clients alike. I did leave a 'grey' review once where the lady stipulated that FK would only be available for 60 min, so I booked 90 mins, to be sure to be sure ! She refused it for no other reason other than the ' boyfriend '. I was miffed but didnt force it but I felt I was justified to refer to that in the review which was grey mostly for other reasons. To be fair to her, in her response , she didnt defend her refusal.

You didnt give an insight into what occurred with the client you refused to have sex with, so it is impossible to comment on that situation. If a so-called 'good client' ( me ) arranged a booking with an escort who on the face of it accepted all comers and I attend at the booking at the agreed time, hand over the cash, do what is asked of me and then after a chat the lady for no discernable reason says " tell you what Steve, I'm not really in the mood for a tall, handsome, mature, respectful guy who's great company ( ), I'd really prefer a young tanned stud muffin with a barbed wire tatoo on his arm with a huge...., so lets just sit and have a chat instead " , then I think I would be understandably miffed. However, in no way should I be able ( nor would I want anyway ) to force myself on her. I would have no alternative but to leave , hopefully with some or all of the cash refunded.

[ksteve]

STELLA , STELLA ---- helloooooooooooooooo ! Are you there Stella ?? We're over here !!!

[Lucy Chambers]

Well, she is unbanned and I have emailed her personally to let her know the situation. The post has been quoted since so I won't be reinstating it, but you can continue to debate it if you like. Whether she decides to return or not is up to her. I will leave you to debate it now, so please don't water this thread down by replying to this post.

Yup. I hope so too.

[Half Man and Half Dildo]

Hi all

If anyone here, be they escort or client, wants to debate with Stella Marr and others they should head on over to Boards.ie and more specifically a thread in the "Ladies Lounge" dealing with secret diary of a dublin call girl which is currently running to some 33 pages long - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showt...552679&page=33

You have an opportunity in this to undo a lot of the bad press which escorting has unjustly received in recent times.

I've read most of her blog and the stand out thing for me is the client who threw the money on the floor. I cannot for the life of me get my head around the mentality involved, this truly is the actions of an out and out scumbag.

Regards,

The Human Dildo.