As many may know I have been doing this for a while now and although over the years I have had truly mind blowing encounters,I now find myself standing elated , lost, confused and fulfilled ! But with a truly horrible horrible feeling of emptiness as I know
I will never have that "holy grail" for myself.
After many years searching for that one true moment of both
emotional and sexual happiness and just that feeling of pure elation ! The life is great moment! The perfect feeling,the eurica moment, Whatever you call it ?
Having found that and realising
it will never be truly mine nor can it ever be surpassed I wonder is there a point in pursuing the "holy grail" when I have already found it!
It's strange to realise that after all the bullshit! all the cockiness !
All the money in the world! I will never truly have what I have realised is the only one true thing in this world that I want but know I will and can never have.
Did I fall in love? Maybe
Regardless I find myself now wondering? Is it better to have spent atleast a moment in time with that angel! And forever know I will live my life without her!
Or would it have been better to never have known she existed ? Avoiding tht sad feeling that mow grips me.