Married Bliss

[Forrest]

A married couple is lying in bed one night.
The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.
As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits.
He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.
The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking
some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him.
The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes?
His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay.
The husband says, No, not at all.
His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then?
I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

[emmasweet]

[Forrest]

..........

[emmasweet]

A couple who have been married for a few years decide to consult a marriage counsellor to try and resolve their problems.
To begin, the marriage counsellor says the couple, "Tell me something you two have in common."
The husband quickly replies, "Well, neither of us sucks dick."



A reporter was doing a human interest story for a local newspaper, and was interviewing an
elderly couple celebrating sixty years of marriage.
The obvious question the reporter posed was "What's the secret to a long marriage?"
"Oh," the man started. "It's all about perseverance. On our honeymoon, we went to the
Grand Canyon and rode on mules down the trail. Well, my new wife's mule bucked her off,
and she fell on the ground. She just yelled, 'That's ONE!' and got right back on.
A couple minutes, the mule did it again, and she yelled, 'That's TWO!' and got right back on.
When the mule did it a third time, she yelled, 'That's THREE!' and she took out a gun and shot the mule dead."
The reporter was shocked at the story, and asked, "How does that relate to a long marriage?"
And the man replied, "Well, I told her that was no way to treat a mule, and she looked at me and said 'That's ONE!'"

[emmasweet]

[Klittyliker]

LOL! Been There, Done That! Cold Shoulder and Hot tongue for a week afterwards!

[emmasweet]

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.
At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary,
to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same
woman for all these years. Luigi replied to the assembled husbands,
“Wella, I've tried to treat her nice, spend money on her, but best of all is that I took her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!”
The priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you're planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm gonna go get her."
(The Secret of a Long Marriage)

[emmasweet]

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing
at you and says, "He's very rich. Marry him." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich.
Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich." That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback!!!!

[Withoutaclue]

Emma, love your collection. I think you should make a book from your collection "Emma's best"

They are fantastic

Thank you

[emmasweet]

Emma, love your collection. I think you should make a book from your collection "Emma's best"

They are fantastic

Thank you

U welcome