The day the Penis asked for a raise

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Mr.P.E.Nis:
"I hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do physical labour
2. I work at great depths
3. I dont get weekends or public holidays off
4. I work in a damp environment
5. I work in a dark place with poor ventilation
6. I work in high temperatures
7. My work exposes me to contagious disease

Sincerely,
Mr P.E.Nis


Response:
Dear Mr. P.E.Nis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised with regard to your request, we have decided to reject it for the following reasons:

1. You dont work 8 hours straight
2. You fall asleep after brief work periods
3. You dont take initiative
4. You need to be pressured and stimulated into starting work
5. You leave the workplace rather messy after your shift
6. You dont always observe necessary safety regulations such as wearing your protective clothing
7. You are unable to work double shifts
8. And if that wasnt all, you constantly enter the workplace carrying 2 suspicious bags

Yours sincerely,
Ms. V.Gina