So Much For Marriage

[ber]

In the end its the little things that ruin most marraiges that snowball into bigger things the longer a marraige lasts....

Get a second TV

save a marriage

[ber]

What percentage thought getting married was a good idea, but that they had just got married to the wrong person?

Probably the majority of people think the concept of marriage is a good one if u marry the right person
But therin lies the snag
The odds are prob stacked against u finding him/her


I dont particularly like the odds so thats mainly why i retain the status i do

[BootSlick55]

Kierkegaard wrote:

"Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Hang yourself, and you will regret it. Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way."
from Either/Or 1843

It is probably true.

[ber]

Kierkegaard wrote:

"Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Hang yourself, and you will regret it. Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way."
from Either/Or 1843

It is probably true.

The only part i would really disagree with is Hang ureself and u will regret it cause ure dead then and u can regret no more


Death is final

[luther]

A majority of these particularly men said they had reached a stage in the relationship when marriage
was expected and even though they werent really in love with their partner felt they were trapped
and couldnt back out so went through with it

I agree with most you have said but in my opinion it would be women that would rather be not be on their own and the guys go along with it to make their partners happy.....

I've been in this situation. I didn't go along with it. I respected her much more than that. I'd rather see her happy with one of the other 80% that perhaps wouldn't have had the regrets that perhaps I would have had...........

It wasn't so much the not loving her part, I did, for me it was issues with myself, my own self confidence, my uncertainty about if I was good enough for her, if I'd be a good husband, etc. etc. etc. etc.............

I let the best one ever go because I thought she's be better off without me.........

She probably is..........

[An don]

I let the best one ever go because I thought she's be better off without me.........

She probably is..........

Been there too and i totally agree with you

[Sensual Delights]

You could always live together with a partner before deciding to get married or not.
Long enough to see if your relationship is better for it or not - or at least worth the troubles or boredom that's going to bring.

The way some of you are talking here is like you just take the woman on a few dates and then you go straight ahead and marry her. What are the chances for that to work I wonder

But when you live with someone for more then 6 months, sometimes much longer, you get to know the real person.
Not the one that you think she / he is, the actual person. If you don't like what you see, just leave or demand the other person to leave, whatever the case might be. There is no alimony to pay, no goods to split, no mortgage etc ...

If it's all good, nothing is stopping you to plan your marriage, which has now much better chances to work. I am not saying it will work 100% because nothing is guaranteed in this world (other then dying ) but you will have actual real chances to never regret your doing.

Even if you decide not to get married, it doesn't matter much in this ideal compatible situation. Unless maybe a child comes along and you want to give the kid a proper family and a sense of security.

[Dirty Harry]

In a recent survey it has been discovered that after only one year of marriage 20% of those that
took part had regrets about getting married.
A majority of these particularly men said they had reached a stage in the relationship when marriage
was expected and even though they werent really in love with their partner felt they were trapped
and couldnt back out so went through with it
Well it deff explains high levels of marriage breakup
It also discovered that a large percentage said that their first year of marriage was much more difficult
than they had anticipated(both male and female)


And thats why im a batchelor and i dont intend to wed

thats unfortunately true pretty much like i always say love is blind and marriage is an eye opener for a lot of folk ....

[Doozer]

Kierkegaard wrote:

"Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Hang yourself, and you will regret it. Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way."
from Either/Or 1843

It is probably true.

He did but then he waqs a gloomy bastard, theGloomy Dane wasnt it. I also believe Kirkegaurd also had marriage issues of his own

[ber]

You could always live together with a partner before deciding to get married or not.
Long enough to see if your relationship is better for it or not - or at least worth the troubles or boredom that's going to bring.

The way some of you are talking here is like you just take the woman on a few dates and then you go straight ahead and marry her. What are the chances for that to work I wonder

But when you live with someone for more then 6 months, sometimes much longer, you get to know the real person.
Not the one that you think she / he is, the actual person. If you don't like what you see, just leave or demand the other person to leave, whatever the case might be. There is no alimony to pay, no goods to split, no mortgage etc ...

If it's all good, nothing is stopping you to plan your marriage, which has now much better chances to work. I am not saying it will work 100% because nothing is guaranteed in this world (other then dying ) but you will have actual real chances to never regret your doing.

Even if you decide not to get married, it doesn't matter much in this ideal compatible situation. Unless maybe a child comes along and you want to give the kid a proper family and a sense of security.

I think the problem her is the actual finality of marriage, many of the people in the survey im sure were already
cohabitating but once u put on that ring it changes the whole thing. In reality escape from the relationship was
but the packing of a bag away before marriage afterwards not so easy. Ure after totally committing to the relationship
now. I think u also have the scenario where partners expect different things from each other once they marry,it ups
the ante so to speak and they may feel now that they are entitled to more input into even the other partners
personal decisions. Personally i know of several relationships where people seemed to living happily together until
the ring went on and then the cracks started to appear. I reckon maybe people dont work as hard as they should
at the relationship either because they kinda relax and say sur i have him/her now. As they say familiarity breeds
contempt