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A lad gets in from school one day and says to his father, "Dad! Dad! I had sex with the teacher today!" The father is in shock, composes himself and says, "Wow! Well done, lad! Sit down and tell me all about it!"
"I can't dad," replies the lad, "my arse is sore!"
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Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!...""A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed....Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Phew! Thank God! I thought you said 'A Protestant'!"
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The Jokes are a little thin on the ground lately!......Everone is far too serious on here.....stop moaning so much and smile a little if you cant afford to laugh!
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A young lad walks into his parents' bedroom to discover his mother on top of his father, riding away.
"What are you doing, mummy?" asks the boy.
Quite taken back, the mother quickly jumps off the father and they cover themselves up. The mother replies, "Erm... well... daddy's getting fat, so I'm bouncing up and down on daddy to flatten his tummy."
The boy looks puzzled and say, "Why do you bother doing that, mummy? Aunty June comes round when you've gone to work to blow him back up again!"
Boom Boom!!!
Mature Busty Siobhan (20-07-10)
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Little boy to his mother, " Mom does dad make robots?"
Mother, " No Jimmy, what makes you say that?"
Jimmy , " Because I just heard him on the phone saying he is screwing the arse of his secretary"
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A priest gives a sermon in his parish one Sunday.
"I am proud to announce that my doubting Thomas of a son has finally seen the light, and has turned his ways to God!"
The priest's son stands up from his pew looking confused, and in front of the parish members replies, "Dear father, what has given you this impression? I still have my doubts about my faith."
The priest, now equally confused states, "Well my son, I has walking past your bedroom this morning and clearly heard you shout, 'Oh God, I'm cumming! God I'm cumming!!!'"
Bad-um, tsh!
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Types of orgasims
The positive - Oh Yes Oh Yes oh Yessssssssss
The negative- Oh No No Noooooooooooooooo
The Religious experience - Oh God oh God Oh Gooooooooddddd
The Fake - Oh Samlad Oh Samlad ohhhhhhhhhhhh Samlad
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Thats more like it!!!...I bet you all wish you had a Sister-in-law like that "Aunty June"!
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Haha! Too right! I'm feeling slightly deflated at the moment!
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This baby polar bear was sat with his mum on an ice berg.
"Mum," he asked, "am I a real polar bear?"
"Yes darling, of course you are." his mother answered.
"Yeah but, am I a proper polar bear, you know, a real one?"
"Yes dear," his mum replied, "You're dad is a polar bear, I'm a polar bear and your sister's a polar bear."
"I know that mum," he said, "but am I a proper polar bear?"
"Of course you are" said his mum, "now shut up and eat your penguin."
A minute later the baby polar bear asks "Mum, I know what you've said, but am I really a proper polar bear?"
"Look," she says, "you are a proper bloody polar bear alright. What's wrong with you? Why do you keep asking me that?"
"Well," he replies, "I'm fucking freezing"
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