Joke of the day

[joggon]

[whiteball]

A 32-year-old pregnant woman started to go into labour,
so her husband drove her to hospital to have their baby
delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the
hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine
that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain
to the baby's father, without the need for any physical
connection. He asked if they were interested, both said
they were very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters,
explaining that 10 percent was probably more pain than the
father had ever experienced before. But as the labour
progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go
ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the
machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still
feeling fine. The Doctor then checked the husband's blood
pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try 50 percent. The husband
continued to feel guite well. Since the pain transfer was
obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband
encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain. The wife
delivered a healthy boy with virtually no pain, and the
husband had experienced none whatsoever. She and her
husband were ecstatic....
After a couple of days, they were allowed back home, as
they arrived; the postman was dead on their doorstep...

[whiteball]

Sean died and left $50,000 in his will for an elarate funeral.
As the last attenders left, Seans wife Rose turned to her oldest
friend Sadie and said: "Well, I'm sure Sean would be pleased."
"I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and
lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really
cost?"
"All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand."
"No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really...
$50'000?!"
Rose nodded. "The funeral was "6,500. I donated $500 to the
Church for the priest's service. The food and drinks were another
$500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone."
Sadie computed quickly. "42,500 for a memorial stone? Exactly
how big is it."
"Seven and half carats."

[joggon]

[whiteball]

DEAR NEIGHBOUR:
Hi Max. This is Richard, next door. I've been riddled with guilt
for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage
to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been
sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than
you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's
no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with
the guilt and hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive
me.
Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.
Regards,
Richard.

Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next
door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife,
poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then
looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from
Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE READ:
Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my text. I
assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned spell- checker
had changed "wi-fi" to "wife."
Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.

[whiteball]

An old lady was standing at the railing of a cruise ship
holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in
the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in the high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you are not wearing anything under your dress, and
your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied...
"Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought
this hat yesterday!"

[joggon]

Who said romance was dead

[joggon]

[joggon]

[joggon]