Joke of the day

**emmasweet** · 03-11-15, 21:10

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

**emmasweet** · 03-11-15, 21:12

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

**Forrest** · 03-11-15, 23:10

"Officer, two women are fighting over me"
"What’s wrong with that?", the Policeman replied.
"The big fat ugly one is winning!!!"

An unmarried mother has given birth to piglets the Child Support Agency is now looking for the swine responsible.

Generosity in a Scotsman is the first sign of insanity.

My car is like a baby. It goes nowhere without a rattle.

Cigarettes are killer that travels in packs.

"Mum, why do 8 different men keep visiting our house every night?"
" Shut up and eat your caviar."

**cormac12345** · 08-11-15, 16:29

**willie wacker** · 08-11-15, 16:59

Originally Posted by cormac12345

I would like to go back to school

**willie wacker** · 09-11-15, 23:22

**willie wacker** · 10-11-15, 00:00

Originally Posted by zilch

I can see your avatar on my phone but not laptop
But cannot see what you put up here on either

**HouseofCards** · 16-11-15, 12:56

No more chicken crossing the road jokes.

Why did the turkey go across the road to the halal supermarket?

Because he heard Christmas was coming.

**willie wacker** · 16-11-15, 22:41

**joggon** · 19-11-15, 00:25

At the U2 Concert in Belfast tonight, Bono asked the crowd for total quiet.
Then in the silence. He started to slowly clap his hands. Once every few seconds. Holding the crowd in silence. He said into the microphone,
"Every-time I clap a child in Africa dies."
From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Tyrone accent pierced the quiet.
"Well then stop doing it then you, ya evil bastard."

Thread: Joke of the day

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to emmasweet For This Useful Post:

The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to emmasweet For This Useful Post:

The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Forrest For This Useful Post:

The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to cormac12345 For This Useful Post:

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to willie wacker For This Useful Post:

The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to willie wacker For This Useful Post:

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to willie wacker For This Useful Post:

The Following User Says Thank You to joggon For This Useful Post:

Posting Permissions