Joke of the day

[whoseyourdaddy]

From the Edinburgh comedy festival top ten....

Went out with a girl last night. She kept her gloves on throughout the date.
I think this one's a keeper

[willie wacker]

[Clueless]

From the Edinburgh comedy festival top ten....

Went out with a girl last night. She kept her gloves on throughout the date.
I think this one's a keeper

I could not get this joke till I looked it up and it goes like this-
"The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves." - Alun Cochrane

[ladiesman217]

I could not get this joke till I looked it up and it goes like this-
"The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves." - Alun Cochrane

Well you ain't called Clueless for nothing ¬_¬

[SteveB]

What is a word made up of four letters, yet is also written with three. Although it is written with eight letters, and then with four. Rarely written with six, and never with five.

[willie wacker]

Well you ain't called Clueless for nothing ¬_¬

You took the words right out of my mouth

[emmasweet]

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

[emmasweet]

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"

[emmasweet]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

[emmasweet]

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"