Joke of the day

[willie wacker]

THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'

The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'

'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!��

[willie wacker]

[Clueless]

That's terrible ... But I like it..

[Clueless]

Why did the pervert cross the road??




He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken ...

[Clueless]

A guy gets on a bus and sees a really hot nun. He approaches her and dishes out a few pick up lines trying to score with her. The nun is shocked and appalled and gets off the bus immediatly.
The bus driver saw the whole spectacle and calls the guy over to him. He says "I know that nun. I see her every night while driving my route. Every night she is at the graveyard, praying. If you really want to have sex with her, just dress up as jesus, go there at night and tell her she HAS TO have sex with you!"
"Sounds like a solid plan" thinks the guy and decides to go through with it. He dresses up as jesus, goes to the graveyard and finds the nun there. He approaches her and says "Behold! It is I, Jesus Christ! I order you to have sex with me!". The nun looks suprised and flustered and says "Of course my lord! Whatever you say! But could we please do it anally? I want to preserve my virginity."
"Even better!" thinks the guy, and they proceed to have sex like wild animals.
After they are finished the guy jumps up laughing, rips off his fake beard and says "Ha! Got you! I'm not jesus! I'm that guy from the bus!" The nun replies "Ha! Got you! I'm not the nun! I'm the bus driver!"

[emmasweet]

Three nuns were having a rest one afternoon and one of the nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and guess what I found? A bunch of p*rnographic magazines...!" "So, what did you do?" the other nuns asked."Well, of course I threw them in the trash."

And then the second nun said, "Well, when I was in Father's room putting away the laundry, I found a bunch of c*ndoms...!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.

[nonpareil]

Can't blame the woman in the video above for looking a bit pissed off.

[Clueless]

Romantic men
3 men talk about their wives. The first one says: "My wife is like a butterfly, so delicate and pretty". The second one: "Mine is like a baby deer, beautiful and gracious". After a moment of silence the third one goes: "Now that I think about it mine doesn't look much human either".

[SmallHorn]

Willie Wacker , Tom Rambo & Walshie all in a pub drinking.

Walshie and Wille go for a smoke.


Rambo pays chow mein €400 for sitting beside him

[Floki]

Q: What do women and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both squirm when you eat them.