Shame

[AmorInfinito8]

Well said. 👍.

[Rooney2808]

Lots of good advice here. Maybe you need to cut out seeing escorts until you get into the right frame of mind to do so. Seeing an escort is a highly enjoyable experience if you're in the right head space to do so but if you're leaving an escort feeling shame then for the time being I don't think this is for you.
How do you get into the right frame of mind, I honestly have no idea. Only you know where these feelings are coming from and why you are feeling this way after leaving an escort.

I would say you should try and get out and meet some women your own age, talk to them, have some craic with them, bit of flirting.
I know some guys here have spoken kind of negatively about the dating scene but I truly miss it! I miss meeting someone randomly in a bar and starting to chat with them, you start having the craic and it turns into a bit of playful flirting. In your head you're wondering is this just a bit of craic or could there be more to this! I miss that thrill of meeting someone new and the potential for what it might become!
Yes, 99% of the time it comes to nothing or you might get a number and text for a while and then it fizzles out and that's that, you might even go on a date and you go to dinner a few drinks and end up with only a peck on the cheek at the end of the night and then a text saying thanks, but no thanks! And yes that's disappointing but it's all part of the thrill, meeting new people and the excitement of what might potentially happen. I truly, truly miss it!

PS. I realise the dating scene has changed massively and I'm probably looking back at it through rose tinted glasses!!

[64west]

I'm a few years older than yourself , 29, and I remember feeling similar to you , even thinking about it the first time. As men were expected to be able to secure sexual partners , in school and college etc if someone doesn't get laid they are slagged and made feel inferior and we develop under that pre-text that if we can't get women we are failures and lesser men. I'd imagine that's where a lot of your shame is coming from, am I such a failure that I actually have to pay for it ?

Once you stop and think about it logically , ok I am paying for a service , it's going to be infinitely quicker than going on dating apps and trying to find someone , most of the ladies on here are absolute super models that you'd never pull regardless in the 'real world' , you can get exactly what you are looking for with your dream looking girl , and it'll all be carried out professionally to please you and really it's cheaper than trying to organise a date. Get new clothes , pay for a restaurant and drinks and taxi etc and then maybe not even end up having sex. Once you've had that one really good meet with a beautiful woman you're whole thinking will change.

I made the novice mistake of visiting some ladies with with reviews turned off, and there's definitely a totally different feel of meeting someone with little to no English , in a seedy apartment , who doesn't provide a good service and all feels forced , no chat after. It's definitely much easier to feel shameful when your first experiences are like that. But once you meet an established girl , in a nice place who genuinely enjoys their work , your entire perception will change trust me. I've made friends with several ladies I've met , helped them set up Irish bank accounts and with documents so they could get rental agreements etc, the women who have the stones to work in this industry and the ones who enjoy it will be unlike any person you'll ever meet in the normal world and you'll learn to appreciate and value them and revel in the experiences they can provide.

There's also something both incredibly liberating and exciting knowing you have access to some of the most beautiful women in the country ready to fulfil all your desires at your fingertips , as opposed to fawning over social media apps swiping through girls who you'll never have a chance with.

Keep at it , think logically and if you haven't already visit some of the more well reviewed ladies on here , be very vocal about your desires beforehand , let me tell you there will be no shame felt when you leave a meet with a beautiful woman totally drained and satisfied exactly how you imagined.

This was a good read, Averageatbest93. Your opinions seaminly greater than your performances.

The main point being some unattainable women that will treat you to unbelievable experiences, of which some of us, past casual hook ups & in a serious relationship stage (and some like the OP in their mid 20s) would be unable to banter or flirt with such beautiful women to the point of casually exchanging numbers. and add the fact that most are from far lands and extensively well travelled.
You only have to see my collection of reviewed to understand my point around unattainable standards. I know some of the more distinguished gentlemen in this tread will know them. Anyways.

OP some advice. Limit yourself as much as you can to an experience each 4-6 weeks and celebrate with a beautiful girl if you make 2 months but drop the guilt.

[TommyH123]

Do ye know what?, it’s a shame that I waited so long to start seeing escorts, I’ve had the best fun ever, met gorgeous interesting ladies who pretended to enjoy playing hide the sausage with me, that’s the only shame involved for me.

[64west]

I change my mind. After reading Rooney2808, this is better advice. 👆
Maybe my advise was for myself. 😅

[Silvergrey25]

Lots of good advice here. Maybe you need to cut out seeing escorts until you get into the right frame of mind to do so. Seeing an escort is a highly enjoyable experience if you're in the right head space to do so but if you're leaving an escort feeling shame then for the time being I don't think this is for you.
How do you get into the right frame of mind, I honestly have no idea. Only you know where these feelings are coming from and why you are feeling this way after leaving an escort.

I would say you should try and get out and meet some women your own age, talk to them, have some craic with them, bit of flirting.
I know some guys here have spoken kind of negatively about the dating scene but I truly miss it! I miss meeting someone randomly in a bar and starting to chat with them, you start having the craic and it turns into a bit of playful flirting. In your head you're wondering is this just a bit of craic or could there be more to this! I miss that thrill of meeting someone new and the potential for what it might become!
Yes, 99% of the time it comes to nothing or you might get a number and text for a while and then it fizzles out and that's that, you might even go on a date and you go to dinner a few drinks and end up with only a peck on the cheek at the end of the night and then a text saying thanks, but no thanks! And yes that's disappointing but it's all part of the thrill, meeting new people and the excitement of what might potentially happen. I truly, truly miss it!

PS. I realise the dating scene has changed massively and I'm probably looking back at it through rose tinted glasses!!

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Brilliant, it's the hope and the excitement of what might be, but sure maybe this lad is still thinking conventionally about life. Find girl , love and marriage etc. not knocking that but there's also the other reality where you're manipulated into a commitment give away your best years and get laid on your birthday and christmas because , or maybe a reward for remembering to put the bins out. There's an idealistic and a realistic way of looking at this , this fella clearly believes in a certain path his life has to follow , been there done that personally, he's clearly got expectations about how his life should be rather than what actually is the reality. He's clearly looking for connection but life's not like that. He's the one who has to accept this or not. All the advise in the world isn't going to change someone when they've a fixed mindset about the world they live in. He has to learn to value connection even if it's just fleeting. Human to human that's what's important. Doesn't matter about the scenario. He's suffering because he's decided things have to be a certain way or it's not right, and that's probably the real challenge here for him. There's nothing wrong with having needs as a man or a woman and being smart enough to have them taken care of before they become a problem. Shame is a learned reaction, and one that's not healthy especially considering the type people who are dishing it out in this country. ( Don't mention Religion or RTE( Closet perverts and who knows what else) That's my two cents.

[TheFalcon]

I probably has those guilt feelings for a while or at various stages,

I even started a thread previously on it,

Ive no regrets personally,have had great experiences at this game, but then again I have been lucky to meet a few ladies that had unexpected connections with,

I dont know it could take a while to experience that - you could be visiting 50 before you find that special escort, (well they are all special but I mean to find one who will be interested in you)

so if your early 20s I would not advise getting addicted- its ok once in a while but put real life first,

for example if there is a work party go to that and mingle-never avoid real life situations to visit an escort (that is the type of thing that can frustrate you afterwards)

[Silvergrey25]

I probably has those guilt feelings for a while or at various stages,

I even started a thread previously on it,

Ive no regrets personally,have had great experiences at this game, but then again I have been lucky to meet a few ladies that had unexpected connections with,

I dont know it could take a while to experience that - you could be visiting 50 before you find that special escort, (well they are all special but I mean to find one who will be interested in you)

so if your early 20s I would not advise getting addicted- its ok once in a while but put real life first,

for example if there is a work party go to that and mingle-never avoid real life situations to visit an escort (that is the type of thing that can frustrate you afterwards)

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Or talk to experienced punters first and ask their advise. Narrows things down a lot when you do. I'm personally eternally grateful to Joelegs for that. Agree never to avoid the real world, but with the added rider avoid married women at work do's they are nothing but trouble.Especially when they are drunk. I've been a good boy but that's the craic too in my experience.

[Nononsense111]

Doesnt anyone else feel ashamed to be using escorts regularly? 25 year old here dont get much success with women but every time I visit an escort even tho the excitement and adrenaline ringing and on the way to location is insane afterwards I just feel ashamed of myself.

I'm the opposite lad

Leave the scene of the crime drooling and head hanging the ride was so good

Each to their own

[64west]

In addition to Nononsense. 👆
Both feelings will happen. It’s impossible to only meet the best of the best in the business. If you’re selective, you can mostly leave the meeting with no “post nut shame” but occasionally you will still have unsatisfactory sessions here and there, brush them off and revisit the ones you know and are amazed by. When you find performers that “perform”, then you will not feel that guilt, shame, whatever you call it.
Now you are in a community of people around this hobby. No shame in here. Lots of great opinions and long responses to go through in this thread, take time read through them. Hope you figure this out for yourself lad.