Today my vet told me that my cat probably has Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) or known as Cat Aids.
I was in ireland a few weeks and left my cat home in very good condition. I came back home and found my cat very very thin and dehidrated and with no apetite and energie at all. Now she was also lost for a week so I thought because of that and that she was in heat and didn't drink or eat.
But after a few days taking care of her she still the same.
I brought her to the vet today and he told me she has all signs of having Cat Aids. I was devasted to hear that. My cat normally is an outdoor cat and now I feel so guilty I let her all the time outdoors and also alone when I go to Ireland. The vet said that she probably got the virus of some street cat, that's the risk of having your cat outdoors. They are more vulnerable catching diseases.
Tomorrow my cat have to do some bloodtest and thursday I will know the results.
The vet told me that if she is positive I have to decide to euthanase her or keep her and having to administer antibiotics etc

I'm so so sad and crying the whole day. I love my cat so much. She is so sweet and good cat.
I don't know what to do. If she is positive should I just finish it for her right away?
Or should I keep caring for her and trying to get her back on her feet? I read that cats can live long with Cat Aids, it's just if they get infections that can be deadly. I'ts similar like human HIV virus.
But my cat doesn't seem to have any infections yet, I think if she is positive it's just that her defences are very low at the moment.
Do you think I can try to get her defences up so that she can last longer?
What should I do. This is just killing me. I don't want to loose my cat, but am I selfish if I don't euthanase her? I'm heartbroken

Jessie