Funniest/ weirdest things that have happened during an appointment

[Johnnybegood1]

Is it appropriate to share these for a laugh? If so I have one or two that might raise a laugh,no naming providers obvs, I'd love to here other guys stories..

[rockonallnite]

Is it appropriate to share these for a laugh? If so I have one or two that might raise a laugh,no naming providers obvs, I'd love to here other guys stories..

Man, couple of hours ago came back from an appointed, if I tell you what happend to me you are going to think I'm bullshiting you. Surreal is an understatement!!. Unfuckingbelivable!! I don't know if I can post it!!! If you want to know I pm you.

[Johnnybegood1]

Pm'd..mine are quite banal but I'd love to here other fellas mishaps.lol

[Lusty56]

Yes it matters
Certain countries are associated with people trafficking. While some girls from these countries are independent, it is safer to avoid them

[EscortInspector]

Jan 2008, it's about 19:00, pitch black, lashing rain and freezing cold. I made an appointment with a lady in Dublin. She directed me to Portobello where there's a shop with a little green tree on it, said she was just across the road, house with purple door. There were no houses across the road, just offices. Me, like a thick, walked across the road to peer through the glass doors and windows of the empty offices. Called her back, said where I was and that there were no houses only offices. She said that she wasn't in Portobello but Rathmines. No problem, 10 minutes later I arrive at the same shop but in a different place. Find the door and was greeted by a very nice young lady. She brought me in and offered me some beer, I declined, as I already had a skinful. I didn't need more drink, I needed some love. She directed me to the room, where some lovely music was playing and the lighting was ambient. She asks me to undress, check. She asked what I would like, massage to begin, blowjob then sex; something like that. She takes her clothes off and grabs a bottle of oil from the dresser, I lie down for massage. She begins rubbing the oil on my back and shoulders, it's really cool at first then really hot. So, everything moves along great until it's time to put a condom on. She takes the oil and puts in on my tool and then put the condom on. During the main event I notice that she feels really hot inside, much hotter than normal. I finish and go have a shower, my genitals are on fire and the water isn't helping. You've heard the expression "running out like the place was on fire", well I have never left an appointment so fast in all my life. Now, if a tube of lube is presented I always ask what it is because whatever that stuff was, wasn't meant to be used the way it was.

[Johnnybegood1]

Jan 2008, it's about 19:00, pitch black, lashing rain and freezing cold. I made an appointment with a lady in Dublin. She directed me to Portobello where there's a shop with a little green tree on it, said she was just across the road, house with purple door. There were no houses across the road, just offices. Me, like a thick, walked across the road to peer through the glass doors and windows of the empty offices. Called her back, said where I was and that there were no houses only offices. She said that she wasn't in Portobello but Rathmines. No problem, 10 minutes later I arrive at the same shop but in a different place. Find the door and was greeted by a very nice young lady. She brought me in and offered me some beer, I declined, as I already had a skinful. I didn't need more drink, I needed some love. She directed me to the room, where some lovely music was playing and the lighting was ambient. She asks me to undress, check. She asked what I would like, massage to begin, blowjob then sex; something like that. She takes her clothes off and grabs a bottle of oil from the dresser, I lie down for massage. She begins rubbing the oil on my back and shoulders, it's really cool at first then really hot. So, everything moves along great until it's time to put a condom on. She takes the oil and puts in on my tool and then put the condom on. During the main event I notice that she feels really hot inside, much hotter than normal. I finish and go have a shower, my genitals are on fire and the water isn't helping. You've heard the expression "running out like the place was on fire", well I have never left an appointment so fast in all my life. Now, if a tube of lube is presented I always ask what it is because whatever that stuff was, wasn't meant to be used the way it was.

Haha sounds like deepheat! At least you would last longer I suppose!

[EscortInspector]

Haha sounds like deepheat! At least you would last longer I suppose!

I was out of action for over a week!

[Johnnybegood1]

Circa 2018 I visited a lady in Maynooth and she was totally stunning but the apartment was very run down. She asked would it be okay if we did it in the small kitchen as her dog was there and got loud when clients took her in the next room. I said okay. Her dog had given birth to puppy's and got really aggressive when we got going, growling and barking. All the the time the lady is urging me on because the dog will eventually go crazy..!

[rockonallnite]

Yesterday I book an escort 30 min, opt out of reviews, I follow my instincts and said she sounds filthy and by the pics sexy as fuck. I go for her.
Travel to destination, rush hour, appointment 6pm I left 5:20. She sent me directions via WhatsApp, GPS coordinates, I said fuck this girl is a pro!! Sound!!, put Google maps and drive to destination.
Traffic was fucking brutal, jams, tractors, road works the whole lot, fucking nightmare. I parked in a cul de sac, 15 min late, I rushed and I rang her, she was mentioning words in Spanish in between so I said wait a min I speak that language you are Russian!! How come? Turns out the ex boyfriend was a compatriot.Anyway I get to the apartment, (I know all the apartments by now)the door was ajar!!, I entered, and went upstairs, nock the door and she was not opening.she thought I was a thief!! She was going to get knives!!, I rang again I said open the door I'm outside! Fucking hilarious, it gets even better!!

The escort was dressed normally, with lingerie stocking and heels underneath. Gorgeous. I started banging her anyway, she is clean and willing to please.
All of a sudden my phone rings, I said fuck the person who is ringing me I'm not answering ��
The phone rang like 5 times, and I said fuck something is wrong. Maybe someone has died!
I answered the phone...
They called my name xxxxx
Who is this?
This is xxxxxx GARDA STATION! We have something for you. Wtf!!!!@!@$#!!!

I said to myself they followed me.!!!

In my head, I was already planning my escape route, 3rd floor! Fuck too high to jump, maybe the roof!!...

-What's the story?? What you want. I said...keeping my cool.-

-We found your wallet, with your cards, can you collect it before 7 pm?-

Such a relief!!!! My dick came back to life!!

I said, I'm busy at the moment( with the escort sucking my dick) ill be there before 7 see you!!!!

Un fucking believable!! MY WALLET FELL FROM THE PASSENGER SEAT, WHEN I WAS CLOSING THE CAR AND SOMEONE PICK IT UP AND DROP IT TO THE GARDS!!( I HAD PUT THE 70 QUID IN AN ENVELOPE FOR HER)

Anyway i told the escort and I said, the fuzz called me I'm going to prison! We were having such a laugh ����.

BTW. I had a great time, She is gorgeous, not a lot of fk, but increible real tits, owo, Rimming and great fucking, 30 min. I made her cum once, then I told her to ride me until I came, like a horse, she blocked my mouth, I was so loud.I was sweeting like a false witness!! Haaaaaa�� what a relief after all that tension!!

Anyway I finished and went to the garda station to collect the wallet, the boy there gave it to me no questions asked, I was thinking you never gonna catch me you fucking idiots, I'm too smart for you, If you knew where I was 10 minutes ago...I was missing not even 10 quid left I had there in my wallet.!!

Haaa what a beautiful country!!
This things happen only here, I got A massive adrenaline rush.!!!
I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!!

BTW I'm bringing the escort to my hometown in 3 weeks, I have unfinished business with her, it was coitus interruptus at the end of the day!!!!!hahahaaa��������

[MelmothWanderer]

What countries in particular?