July 09 Competiton

[WD-40]

Fuck,that was a bit more difficult than i thought,least i tried

[Anna23]

Fuck,that was a bit more difficult than i thought,least i tried

It was fuckin funny to me
But sorry, I think Luther gets my vote, his story is simply the best. I reckon his Lutherism will be a masterpiece as he's obviously very talented.

By the way, i saw your last review I will try to make it up for all the bitches who let you down and restore your faith into escorts. I'm disappointed with you, buddy.

[WD-40]

thanks for the conifidence vote anna
are you not giving this a go yourself???

[Wamba]

When exactly is the deadline? This Sunday at midnight?

I am working on my entry, hope I can finish it in time!

[Westsidex]

When exactly is the deadline? This Sunday at midnight?

I am working on my entry, hope I can finish it in time!

look i will make the deadline last day of the month.Im not really too pushed with the deadline.If you need time then this will give you more.The last Sunday was only to give some pattern to it but im flexable so make it the last day of each month.

I give the winner on the 1st day of the new month along with the new comp.

Also i have decided to that a person can enter a few times if they wish.I dont want to take a fun thing and make it too strict.

Westside.

[Stewie]

Disclaimer........Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. The characters and events are fictitious, more or less.......


Escort(s): Magnificent JoAnna

Author: Lovelyladiesarelovely

Join Date: I couldn't get a date, that's why I'm here
Message Board Usergroup: Beginner
Message Board Posts: A few but I deleted them
Reviews: 1

Type: Female Escort
Location: Almost made it to the bed
Incall or Outcall: Outside in the garden when I called her first but then moved inside
Time / Date: After school/to excited to remember
Duration: I'd rather not say
Cost: Including bus fare???


It was my first punt……… in fact, to be honest, it was my first time……….
I tried once before but got caught in a hail of bullets and legged it, luck I'm a fast runner due to a healthy diet.......
Magnificent JoAnna was very gentle with me and made the whole experience so much quicker…….. I mean easier….. I thought she might laugh at me when I got undressed , but in fact she was very kind and complimented me on my body. She said she would love to have arms as slender as mine……. It put me at ease as I ogled her slender, toned, tanned frame……..Then she asked me if I’d like to take a shower but I assured her I had already washed my arse at home, my mother is very particular about that kind of thing, and now she even trusts me enough to do it on my own, but she still checks now and again, ever since that time I got hit by a bus, had to go to hospital with a nasty head injury and I had a few skid marks on my Y fronts. She was very embarrassed about it, I tried to tell her they were clean that morning and I may have had a little accident when I saw the bus coming for me just before impact… Sorry, there I was just starting to talk about sex and thinking of my mother straight away……….
Anyway…….. I don’t want to go into the details of my encounter with Magnificent JoAnna, but suffice to say she will always own a part of me. She said I was such a little pet. She was wonderful and even gave me a discount based on the time spent doing “you know what“…. I was very appreciative……… I had enough for the bus home, saved me a walk, or the embarrassment of having to phone my sister for another ride if it happened to still be wet…… I mean it was raining earlier that night……

Is this bit about me???......... ok then..........

Favourites Enjoyed: Looking and touching....... and I touched her too
Accuracy of Photos: I didn't take any, I didn't know I was allowed
Incall Location: Hallway and bedroom...... briefly
Physical Appearance: I think I'm handsome
Service Provided: I can do a little plumbing
Value for Money: Yes I think I am
Overall Satisfaction I haven't any complaints yet...... but this was my first time
Would You Recommend? Yes, I'm brillant
Would You See Again?: Every morning in the mirror

that is brilliant

[MR JOLLY]

Escort: Molly TS
Autor: PJ
Type: Leicester Longwool
Location: Mc Carthys Lower Field
Incall/outcall: Incall
Time/Date: Closing Time, the day of the minor final.
Duration: Aprox 10Min
Cost: A new pair of tweeds after catching old ones on fecking barbed wire.

Had meant to see Molly for a while now after reading her reviews on the wall in O Malley’s toilets and seeing her pics in the parish newsletter. Arrived at location only to have to hang around till she was finished with her previous clients ( The Murphy twins.... dirty feckers ). Was tempted to just settle for her duo partner Consuella a “Barbaedos Blackbelly” who has mixed reviews and a bit of a rep ( also doubt very much she’s a blackbelly more like a “Badger face welsh mountain”). Anyway eventually got the nod (from Peader Murphy) and was glad I waited, she immediately put me at ease with a cheeky Baa ( the minx ), she was dressed as requested in a full length coat with nothing underneath and smelled devine (must have been dipped recently ). I won’t go in to detail here out of respect for Molly ( You’ll have to read a about it on the wall of O Malleys ). She’s def not a clock watcher and provides all standard extras, but if your into kinky stuff she’s probably not the one for you. Oh and treat her gently guys she’ special.

Favorites Enjoyed: GFE, hoof fetish, Bareback.
Accuracy of Photos: Could do with updating, pics from 06 spring show.
Incall Location: Damp and dirty, no complaints.
Physical Appearance: Mutton dressed as lamb.
Service Provided: Fairly satisfied.
Value For Money: NA
Would you recommend: She's due for shearing so if your into that look yes. Personaly I think those people are just sick.
Would you visit again: No think I caught foot rot.

[herald]

Just in relation to Banned User's two part story about Tammy the neighbour (not that it's likely to win as it hardly qualifies as a review). It was copied from here.

Once you get into the habit of looking for the original photos the girls are posting as their own, the habit is hard to break. Sorry Banned User

[Banned User]

Just in relation to Banned User's two part story about Tammy the neighbour (not that it's likely to win as it hardly qualifies as a review). It was copied from here.

Once you get into the habit of looking for the original photos the girls are posting as their own, the habit is hard to break. Sorry Banned User

Jolly good show Mr Herald. I am only surprised that it took so long to unearth.
You have nothing to be sorry about old chap.

By the way how can you be sure that I did not write the original tale ? Are you confident in your allegation ?

[WD-40]

Editor=ouarterpoundher
time and date=last nite,just after i banned some new guy
duration=5 mins,defo not a clock watcher,thought it was a lot longer
location=it was fuckin filthy,absoluately disgusting but i cant really complain to much,after all it was an outcall
cost=150 euro,plus taxi fare,gave him a tip to,"be careful what you say or il ban you"
value=feel a little hard done by,30 euro a min plus taxi,bit expensive
recommend=bulmers pear cider,thats lovely stuff

right before i start i just want to make a couple of points,the first one being that i feel i have been pressurized into seeing an escort by some peoples cheap shots and smart comments.yeah "stewie"you would be one of those.god you would make a lovely corpse.
The secound being,no matter what you all think "i am your better"
right here it goes then the review you all wanted to read,fucking peasants.i decided to make it an outcall because i prefer not to go outside thes days,so i called lady x and arranged for her to come to my house at seven.it must have been such an honour for her to get that call,spoke to her a couple of times on the forum so she knows who i am,lucky girl.i chose her because i noticed big paws had reviewed her and anything he can do,well you know the rest.
The doorbell rang bang on seven,hadnt noticed the time pass i was busy scribbling ideas on how to ban bigbadjohn and ninebythree in my little notepad of banning ideas.i'l have you ya pair of cunts.anyway lady x looked stunning but i cudnt help but notice she looked a lot like a couple of other profiles i had checked out and everybody knows having two profiles is against the rules.i'l be looking into this and if im right(of course im right)il be banning her ass.
I started making small talk "do you like your job" "do you like it here in ireland" i explained to her that i care for the girls,im there for them,and that if there was anything i cud do to help or perhaps just be a shoulder to cry on.she just looked puzzled.
She said she was a mistress and like to dominate,had to stop her there,no fucking way,anyone that knows me will tell you im in charge of everything and if she doesnt like it,fine,il just ban her.she eventually ecxcepted this and started walkin towards me,her high heels echoing of the tiled floor.she stared at me licking her lips never breaking eye contact and started to unbutton my trousers.with that i felt all the strenght drain from my body and come out my penis,"shit id come in my pants" it was my first time.i tried to explain but it was no use,lady x had already made a dash to the window and was shoutin something out.turns out she was calling the taximan you was still in the garden turning the car around.
Overall it was a mixed bag,lady x is obviously a superior escort ,she didnt even have to touch me,what a pro.im sure she had a great time and will never forget me,shes probaly thinkin of me right now.i'v since decided to ban her,just becuse i can,and i will ban anbody else who has something to say that i dont like,especially about my review,so watch out qph is about.





The above incidents are purely fictional,any likeness to anyone on this website is purely coincidence.all rights are reserved


hope this doesnt offend you qph its just a bit of banter,your top man really