Paddy baby- I have your answer here - Its actually quite simple - you are experiencing a mid life crisis which leads to a fundamental altering in your philosophical outlook.
It appears that you are becoming an existentialist nihilist , a la, Sartre.
Its perfectly normal. Basically you have come to the conclusion that all effort and life is meaningless and that morality is merely an imagined state of mind to try to make life the universe and everything more logical and cosy. Of course you now realise that all this is nonsense and that life is merely what you make of it.
The best way to handle it is thru excessive alcohol narcotic and sexual indulgence (or gardening).
Thumbs Up.
Watch the following and you will be grand.
Human all too human - Sartre