Crap joke of the day

[whiteball]

If you were born September,
pretty safe to assume that
your parents started their
New Year with a bang.

[whiteball]

A naked man broke into a church.
The police chased him around and
finally caught him by the organ.

[whiteball]

Did you hear about the constituted
accountant? He couldn't budget, so
he had to work it out with a paper
and pencil.

[whiteball]

An old woman walked into a dentist's
office, took off all her clothes, and spread
her legs. The dentist said, "I think you
have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week,"
she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

[whiteball]

What's the difference between a tire
and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear.
The other's a great year.

[whiteball]

My neighbor has been mad at his
wife for sunbathing nude. I personally
am on the fence.

[whiteball]

Paddy hates his wife's cat so much
he drives to the next town and dumps it.
When he gets home it's there.
Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it.
When he gets home it's there again.
So next day he drives to the other side of
the country and dumps it.... 6 hours later he
rings his wife and asks, "Is that fucking cat
home?"
"Yes... Why?" asks the wife....
Paddy says, "Put the bastard on the phone,
I'm lost!!"

[whiteball]

"I'd rather go through the pain of
childbirth again than let you drill
in my mouth," the woman told her
dentist. He replied, "Well, please
make up your mind so I can adjust
my chair."

[whiteball]

What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer's and diarrhea. You're running
but can't remember where.

[whiteball]

I visited my new friend in his apartment.
He told me to make myself at home. So
I threw him out. I hate having visitors.