Crap joke of the day

**joggon** · 13-06-20, 22:58

**Mrbean76** · 16-06-20, 19:28

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home , all the signs were there.

**Barney Rubble** · 16-06-20, 20:24

Originally Posted by Deleted

What did hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob!

Originally Posted by Mrbean76

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home , all the signs were there.

Yes we really are back on track with the crap jokes !

**Mrbean76** · 16-06-20, 22:15

Originally Posted by Barney Rubble

Yes we really are back on track with the crap jokes !

Feel free to post some yourself Mr Rubble.

**Mrbean76** · 19-06-20, 22:25

What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?

It's impossible to reduce weight by eating grass and other greens and walking around all day.

**Mrbean76** · 19-06-20, 22:28

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

Because he's married!!

**Barney Rubble** · 20-06-20, 08:41

Originally Posted by Deleted

A woman wakes up after having vaginal tuck to find three bunches of flowers on windowsill..

One from her surgeon to say 'All went well!'

One from her husband to say 'He loves her & to get well soon!'

And one from Jack in the burns department to say, 'Thanks for the new ears!'

Now we are dangerously approaching funny joke territory here MakSim, I better steer us back to the crap heap.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife ?
Neither has he !

**SteveB** · 20-06-20, 20:22

Old crap joke from the film “Chinatown”
Somebody asks a friend for some sexual advice. He suggests he makes love like a Chinese person. He should make love slowly and take breaks and go and meditate and so on.
So he takes the advice. He has sex slowly and carefully and takes breaks and meditates and returns and continues. He takes another break and goes to contemplate the full moon. He then returns and continues. The girl starts to get frustrated.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she complains.
“You are screwing like a fuckin’ Chinaman!”

**MidlifeCrisis** · 24-06-20, 08:59

Brought my wife to the doctor to see if anything can be done about her Tourette's Syndrome.

Good news! She doesn't have Tourette's. I am a cunt and she does fucking hate me.

**Mrbean76** · 03-07-20, 06:41

Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, " if you build it they will come"?

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