Bizarre American Sex Crimes Laws

[johnwin530]

In almost every state, it remains illegal to commit adultery (i.e., sex with a married person that is not one's spouse). Most states also outlaw sodomy (anal intercourse). Public nudity is generally illegal, as well, though what constitutes nudity varies widely, meaning in some instances women can go topless and in others even men must wear shirts!
By state, some of the most entertaining laws follow:

ALABAMA

1. Sex toys are banned.
2. Men are banned from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of marriage."

CALIFORNIA

It is illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay.

CONNECTICUT
A law forbids any "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."

FLORIDA
1. Two people cannot commit "unusual acts" together.
2. It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
3. It an offense to shower in the nude.
GEORGIA
Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal.
IDAHO
Not allowed to engage in any type of public display of affection for more than 18 minutes.
ILLINOIS
Illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you are fishing or hunting in Oblong.
INDIANA
Oral sex is banned.

IOWA
1. There is a 5-minute time limit to making out.
2. A man in Ames cannot take more than three swallows of beer while holding his wife in his arms in bed.

KENTUCKY
A woman cannot marry the same man three times in some Kentucky townships.

LOUISIANA
You can streak as long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent."

MARYLAND
It is illegal to kiss for more than 1 second in Halethorpe.

MICHIGAN
1. Male drivers in Detroit are banned from “ogling” women.
2. It is illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo.

MINNESOTA
1. Sleeping naked is illegal.
2. It is illegal for men to have intimate sexual relationships with a live fish (apparently it is still technically for women to, however).

MISSISSIPPI
Men cannot become sexually aroused in public.

NEBRASKA
Couples sleeping at a hotel must wear a clean, cotton nightshirt provided by the hotel, even when they are having sex.

NEW MEXICO
Couples in Carlsbad can have sex in their parked car during their lunch break, as long as the curtains are drawn.
NEVADA
If you are a member of the Nevada legislature, you cannot conduct business while the legislature is in session wearing a penis costume.
NEW YORK
1. Women cannot be seen wearing "body hugging clothing."
2. Women can go topless in public unless it is for "business" reasons.
NORTH CAROLINA
1. It is an offense to have sex in a graveyard.
2. If you are unmarried and you and your lover register yourselves as a "Mr. and Mrs." when checking into a motel, then you may legally be considered husband and wife.
OREGON
Husbands in Willowdale can are fined for talking dirty during intercourse, but their wives can say whatever they please.
TENNESSEE
Women in Dyersburg cannot call a man for a date.
TEXAS
Flirting is banned in San Antonio.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal.
WASHINGTON STATE
Sex with an animal is perfectly legal for men, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.
WISCONSIN
Illegal for a man to fire his gun in Connersville when his lover reaches climax.
WYOMING
Sex in a walk-in meat freezer is banned in Newcastle.

Provided by HG.org

[SteveB]

Continued;

In Ireland it is illegal to pay someone for sex. It is not a joke, it is true. Of course, this law is so stupid and impossible to prove, it is rarely, if ever enforced.

[FranknStein]

In almost every state, it remains illegal to commit adultery (i.e., sex with a married person that is not one's spouse). Most states also outlaw sodomy (anal intercourse). Public nudity is generally illegal, as well, though what constitutes nudity varies widely, meaning in some instances women can go topless and in others even men must wear shirts!
By state, some of the most entertaining laws follow:

ALABAMA

1. Sex toys are banned.
2. Men are banned from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of marriage."

CALIFORNIA

It is illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay.

CONNECTICUT
A law forbids any "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."

FLORIDA
1. Two people cannot commit "unusual acts" together.
2. It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
3. It an offense to shower in the nude.
GEORGIA
Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal.
IDAHO
Not allowed to engage in any type of public display of affection for more than 18 minutes.
ILLINOIS
Illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you are fishing or hunting in Oblong.
INDIANA
Oral sex is banned.

IOWA
1. There is a 5-minute time limit to making out.
2. A man in Ames cannot take more than three swallows of beer while holding his wife in his arms in bed.

KENTUCKY
A woman cannot marry the same man three times in some Kentucky townships.

LOUISIANA
You can streak as long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent."

MARYLAND
It is illegal to kiss for more than 1 second in Halethorpe.

MICHIGAN
1. Male drivers in Detroit are banned from “ogling” women.
2. It is illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo.

Oh Sally ,oh Sally in Kalamazoo,
Let me enter inside your lovely wazoo,
And break all the rules in the Land of the Free
And on breaking those rules to Mexico I'd flee.

[FranknStein]

In almost every state, it remains illegal to commit adultery (i.e., sex with a married person that is not one's spouse). Most states also outlaw sodomy (anal intercourse). Public nudity is generally illegal, as well, though what constitutes nudity varies widely, meaning in some instances women can go topless and in others even men must wear shirts!
By state, some of the most entertaining laws follow:

ALABAMA

1. Sex toys are banned.
2. Men are banned from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of marriage."

CALIFORNIA

It is illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay.

CONNECTICUT
A law forbids any "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."

FLORIDA
1. Two people cannot commit "unusual acts" together.
2. It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
3. It an offense to shower in the nude.
GEORGIA
Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal.
IDAHO
Not allowed to engage in any type of public display of affection for more than 18 minutes.
ILLINOIS
Illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you are fishing or hunting in Oblong.
INDIANA
Oral sex is banned.

IOWA
1. There is a 5-minute time limit to making out.
2. A man in Ames cannot take more than three swallows of beer while holding his wife in his arms in bed.

KENTUCKY
A woman cannot marry the same man three times in some Kentucky townships.

LOUISIANA
You can streak as long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent."

MARYLAND
It is illegal to kiss for more than 1 second in Halethorpe.

MICHIGAN
1. Male drivers in Detroit are banned from “ogling” women.
2. It is illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo.

MINNESOTA
1. Sleeping naked is illegal.
2. It is illegal for men to have intimate sexual relationships with a live fish (apparently it is still technically for women to, however).

MISSISSIPPI
Men cannot become sexually aroused in public.

NEBRASKA
Couples sleeping at a hotel must wear a clean, cotton nightshirt provided by the hotel, even when they are having sex.

NEW MEXICO
Couples in Carlsbad can have sex in their parked car during their lunch break, as long as the curtains are drawn.
NEVADA
If you are a member of the Nevada legislature, you cannot conduct business while the legislature is in session wearing a penis costume.
NEW YORK
1. Women cannot be seen wearing "body hugging clothing."
2. Women can go topless in public unless it is for "business" reasons.
NORTH CAROLINA
1. It is an offense to have sex in a graveyard.
2. If you are unmarried and you and your lover register yourselves as a "Mr. and Mrs." when checking into a motel, then you may legally be considered husband and wife.
OREGON
Husbands in Willowdale can are fined for talking dirty during intercourse, but their wives can say whatever they please.
TENNESSEE
Women in Dyersburg cannot call a man for a date.
TEXAS
Flirting is banned in San Antonio.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal.
WASHINGTON STATE
Sex with an animal is perfectly legal for men, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.
WISCONSIN
Illegal for a man to fire his gun in Connersville when his lover reaches climax.
WYOMING
Sex in a walk-in meat freezer is banned in Newcastle.

Provided by HG.org

It may be illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine in Florida but it looks like it could be legal to do so in Washington State.All you male masochists-go west young men to Washington for the porcupine spines and quills.(avoid the overly fat 45 lb porcupines though).

On the bright side this document may be condoning "public sexual relations between consenting adults " in Connecticut.

[Kaleb]

In almost every state, it remains illegal to commit adultery (i.e., sex with a married person that is not one's spouse). Most states also outlaw sodomy (anal intercourse). Public nudity is generally illegal, as well, though what constitutes nudity varies widely, meaning in some instances women can go topless and in others even men must wear shirts!
By state, some of the most entertaining laws follow:

ALABAMA

1. Sex toys are banned.
2. Men are banned from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of marriage."

CALIFORNIA

It is illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay.

CONNECTICUT
A law forbids any "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."

FLORIDA
1. Two people cannot commit "unusual acts" together.
2. It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
3. It an offense to shower in the nude.
GEORGIA
Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal.
IDAHO
Not allowed to engage in any type of public display of affection for more than 18 minutes.
ILLINOIS
Illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you are fishing or hunting in Oblong.
INDIANA
Oral sex is banned.

IOWA
1. There is a 5-minute time limit to making out.
2. A man in Ames cannot take more than three swallows of beer while holding his wife in his arms in bed.

KENTUCKY
A woman cannot marry the same man three times in some Kentucky townships.

LOUISIANA
You can streak as long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent."

MARYLAND
It is illegal to kiss for more than 1 second in Halethorpe.

MICHIGAN
1. Male drivers in Detroit are banned from “ogling” women.
2. It is illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo.

MINNESOTA
1. Sleeping naked is illegal.
2. It is illegal for men to have intimate sexual relationships with a live fish (apparently it is still technically for women to, however).

MISSISSIPPI
Men cannot become sexually aroused in public.

NEBRASKA
Couples sleeping at a hotel must wear a clean, cotton nightshirt provided by the hotel, even when they are having sex.

NEW MEXICO
Couples in Carlsbad can have sex in their parked car during their lunch break, as long as the curtains are drawn.
NEVADA
If you are a member of the Nevada legislature, you cannot conduct business while the legislature is in session wearing a penis costume.
NEW YORK
1. Women cannot be seen wearing "body hugging clothing."
2. Women can go topless in public unless it is for "business" reasons.
NORTH CAROLINA
1. It is an offense to have sex in a graveyard.
2. If you are unmarried and you and your lover register yourselves as a "Mr. and Mrs." when checking into a motel, then you may legally be considered husband and wife.
OREGON
Husbands in Willowdale can are fined for talking dirty during intercourse, but their wives can say whatever they please.
TENNESSEE
Women in Dyersburg cannot call a man for a date.
TEXAS
Flirting is banned in San Antonio.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal.
WASHINGTON STATE
Sex with an animal is perfectly legal for men, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.
WISCONSIN
Illegal for a man to fire his gun in Connersville when his lover reaches climax.
WYOMING
Sex in a walk-in meat freezer is banned in Newcastle.

Provided by HG.org

Awful lot of inbreeding as well in the US. Load of banjo players over there 2nd only to Islam which experts reckon 50 percent of the Muslim population is inbreed.

[Kaleb]

Awful lot of inbreeding as well in the US. Load of banjo players over there 2nd only to Islam which experts reckon 50 percent of the Muslim population is inbreed.

Inbreeding was worse in the good old US of A. It wasnt always the muslims. The Fugates, a famous inbreed family that lived in the hills of Kentucky, commonly known as the "Blue Fugates"

A true Red, white and blue family