http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Remo...ews/B000KKNQBK
Veet and other Amazon reviewers warned me not to put this product on certain ... sensitive areas of my body. I decided years ago that I never want children of my own, so I ignored these warnings.
Lo, though I soon learned that the prophets which spake of Hell fire verily spake truth!
Within 5 seconds of applying the product to these forbidden regions I felt an increasingly intense burning sensation. Choosing to see this as a challenge to my masculinity I laughed to myself and proceeded to wait for the remainder of the 4 minutes. Sweat was beginning to form on my forehead, but it was finally time to use the little, plastic scrapper thing to rid myself of those cursed hairs.
First swipe with the scrapper - my mouth surely dropped open in horror at the pain. I clearly remember looking down to ensure that only hair was removed and not skin!
Second swipe - random expletives and nervous laughter.
Third swipe - whimpering. Seriously.
Then I got the bright idea of watering down the Veet before continuing with the hair scrapping. I hoped for merciful, healing waters. Instead, the fiery lake of Beelzebub descended upon my flesh!
Realizing then that water was only going to re-activate the now partially dried up Veet, I hurried scrapped off more and more hair. Hobbling to my shower I decided that i would instead wash the Veet and my hair off as fast as I could.
After 15 minutes of washing myself in the shower over and over the pain had greatly subsided. It was finally over! Happily drying myself I remember laughing and thinking "I must have a really high pain tolerance", once more confident in my masculinity.
Then, to my horror I realized that not only was the pain gone, but that I no longer felt hardly any thing down there! Like a deer staring at headlights I stared downwards while my mind screamed "... did they die?!!"
Lotion - I hastily found my savior and baptized myself with its cool, soothing relief. Ever so slight burning sensation ... mild burning ... very hot burning ... suddenly I felt the pain of a thousand paper-cuts exposed to jalepeno peppers!
Sprinting to my nearby box fan I stood there shaking, hoping for salvation. The cool air changed nothing. I ignored the warnings of the prophets and there would be no mercy for me! For the next 20 or so minutes I paced back and forth desperately waiting for the punishment of my transgression to cease.
Oddly, the pain did cease and quite suddenly. I think that numbness has set in, like when you eat waaay too many hot peppers. Maybe my skin just died. Either way, my trials and tribulations are over, so I am truly joyous!
Heed the words of warning inscribed on the Veet bottle - spare yourself the flames.